Tag Archives: slogans

Great T-Shirt Slogans

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  • So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
  • I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
  • God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
  • If They Don’t Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain’t Going
  • My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
  • (Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah!
  • (On the back of a Harley-rider) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
  • I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We’re OK Now
  • What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It’s All About?
  • (Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor
  • I Didn’t Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
  • Liberal Arts Major…Will Think For Money
  • IRS – Be Audit You Can Be
  • Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
  • Coffee, Chocolate, Men…Some Things Are Just Better Rich
  • Gravity… It’s Not Just a Good Idea. It’s The Law.
  • If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In The Kitchen
  • In America, Anyone Can Be President. That’s The Risk You Take.
  • First Things First, But Not Necessarily In That Order.
  • I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do

More Great T-Shirt Slogans

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  • “Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time”
  • “Frankly, Scallop, I Don’t Give a Clam” – seen on Cape Cod
  • “That’s It! I’m Calling Grandma!” – seen on an 8 year old
  • “Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up”
  • “Procrastinate Now”
  • “Rehab Is for Quitters”
  • “My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse – He Couldn’t Do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse”
  • “My Dog Can Lick Anyone”
  • “Real Men Don’t Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair”
  • “I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts — Do You Want Fries With That?”
  • “Party — My Crib – Two A.M.” – Made up to look like an invitation on a baby-size shirt
  • “If a woman’s place is in the home WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS CAR!”
  • “FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.”
  • “I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I’VE GOT A GUN”
  • “Filthy, Stinking, Rich — Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”
  • “A hangover is the wrath of grapes”
  • “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance”
  • “STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!”
  • “Where there’s a will I want to be in it”
  • “How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?”
  • “He who dies with the most toys is still dead”
  • “HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN GOSH”
  • “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
  • “HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!”
  • “The trouble with life is there’s no background music.”
  • “IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?”
  • “Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane.”
  • “MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT”
  • “Computer programmers don’t byte, they nybble a bit.”
  • “Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.”
  • “NyQuil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.”
  • “Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.”

Campaign Slogans for Hillary Clinton

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  • “Read My Lips – No New Interns”
  • “Reward Me For Putting Up With Bill’s Crap For So Long”
  • “Isn’t It Time You Were Disappointed By A Different Clinton?”
  • “Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask How You Can Illegally Contribute To My Campaign”
  • “Vote For Me Or My Husband Will Nail Your Wife”
  • “You Give Me A Vote, I’ll Get Vernon Jordan To Give You A Job”
  • “Still Not Indicted As Of 1999!”
  • “From Perjury To Albany”
  • “Building A Bridge To The 21st Century, And Pushing My Husband Over It”
  • “Oh Lord, Please Don’t Make Me Go Back To Arkansas”

Microsoft’s Upgrades

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After first seeing Microsoft’s slogan for its Windows XP operating system, “it just works,” I couldn’t help wondering: what were the slogans for all the previous releases? After thinking about it for a while, they became obvious.

  • Windows 1.0: Good joke, eh?
  • Windows 2.0: Still funny, isn’t it?
  • Windows 286: Yeah, we’re still kidding.
  • Windows 386: Going boldly where Desqview has been for years.
  • Windows 3.0: It’s finally worth buying!
  • Windows 3.1:It’s finally worth using!
  • Windows 95:Going boldly where the Mac has been for years.
  • Windows 98:More usable! Less stable!
  • Windows 98SE:More stable! Less usable!
  • Windows ME:Less usable AND less stable!
  • NT 1.0:Give me more hardware! NOW!!!
  • NT 2.0:Darn it, I said MORE HARDWARE!!! NOW!!!!
  • NT 3.0: Which part of “more hardware” do you not understand?
  • NT 3.5: With enough hardware, I’d work. Honest.
  • NT 4.0: Does less than Win98 with twice the hardware at one-half the speed.
  • Windows 2K: Works almost as well as Windows 98! Honest!
  • Windows XP:It just works.

Rejected Motel 6 Slogans

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  • We’re working on that smell thing, too.
  • Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.
  • As seen on “COPS”
  • If We’d Known You Were Staying All Night, We’d Have Changed the Sheets
  • Not just for nooners anymore.
  • We left off the 9, but you know it’s there.
  • You rented the room, now buy the video.
  • Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then you wouldn’t have money left over for a hooker.
  • We’ll leave the Lysol for ya!
  • Hey, we’re not the Ritz, but just try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!
  • We don’t make the adultery. We make the adultery *better*
  • It’s Hookerriffic!
  • Official Lodging of the 2002 Florida Marlins
  • Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962!
  • Cheap and Easy-Just Like Your Mother
  • We put the “Ho” in “Motel”

New Slogans for Fast Food Restaurants

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  • Burger King — Fiber’s for weenies!
  • Taco Bell — Feeding potheads with the munchies for $1.50 for 30 years.
  • KFC — We’re NOT a rap group, dammit!
  • Popeye’s — Buy your chicken from a *real* cartoon character, not an animated dead guy.
  • McDonald’s — Did somebody say McBypass?
  • McDonald’s — New cooler coffee!
  • Domino’s — If you’re too wasted to drive, we’ll bring your food to you!
  • Der Wienerschnitzel — Now with 15% less pig rectum.
  • KFC — Hey, don’t give your money to those racist bastards at Denny’s!
  • Starbucks — Now with 0.9% financing on the new Quad Macchiato
  • Taco Bell — Yo tengo flatulence.
  • Wendy’s — If Dave doesn’t give a rat’s ass about his cholesterol, why should you?
  • Taco Bell — Working around the clock to invent new ways to combine the same 5 ingredients.
  • KFC — It’s KFCN’ awesome!

Computer T-Shirt Slogans

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  • Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
  • As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  • COFFEE.EXE missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
  • Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
  • Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
  • Backups! We don’ NEED no steenking backups.
  • 4 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  • E Pluribus Modem
  • Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
  • File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  • Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the Etherbunny
  • Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are
  • A main-frame: The biggest PC peripheral available.
  • My software never has bugs. lt just develops undocumented features.
  • An error? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting
  • C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
  • CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?
  • C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
  • <-------- The information went data way
  • Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • Best file compression around- "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
  • A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.
  • The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
  • 11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor’s Pentium
  • BREAKFAST.COM Halted .. Cereal Port Not Responding
  • 24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case…Coincidence???
  • The name is Baud, James Baud.
  • Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
  • BUFFERS FILES 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go
  • Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
  • SENILE.COM found… Out Of Memory…
  • Access denied! Nah nah na na nah nah!
  • Who’s General Failure & why is he reading my disk??
  • C:Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!
  • Ultimate office automation: Net-worked coffee.
  • Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay!
  • RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.
  • Why doesn’t DOS ever say ‘EXCELLENT’
  • Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?
  • All computers wait at the same speed.
  • Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
  • Go ahead, make my data!
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
  • ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
  • E-mail returned to sender: Insufficient voltage.
  • Help! I’m modeming… and I can’t hang up!!!
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • Error! Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
  • DOS Tip #1701: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
  • Hidden DOS secret: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
  • Press any key… no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
  • Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue …