More Great T-Shirt Slogans

  • “Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time”
  • “Frankly, Scallop, I Don’t Give a Clam” – seen on Cape Cod
  • “That’s It! I’m Calling Grandma!” – seen on an 8 year old
  • “Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up”
  • “Procrastinate Now”
  • “Rehab Is for Quitters”
  • “My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse – He Couldn’t Do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse”
  • “My Dog Can Lick Anyone”
  • “Real Men Don’t Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair”
  • “I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts — Do You Want Fries With That?”
  • “Party — My Crib – Two A.M.” – Made up to look like an invitation on a baby-size shirt
  • “If a woman’s place is in the home WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS CAR!”
  • “FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.”
  • “I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I’VE GOT A GUN”
  • “Filthy, Stinking, Rich — Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”
  • “A hangover is the wrath of grapes”
  • “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance”
  • “STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!”
  • “Where there’s a will I want to be in it”
  • “How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?”
  • “He who dies with the most toys is still dead”
  • “HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN GOSH”
  • “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
  • “HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!”
  • “The trouble with life is there’s no background music.”
  • “IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?”
  • “Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane.”
  • “MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT”
  • “Computer programmers don’t byte, they nybble a bit.”
  • “Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.”
  • “NyQuil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.”
  • “Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.”