- She is soooooo ugly that she would make a train take a dirt road!
- She’s so ugly her dentist treats her by mail!
- She’s so ugly her face could stop a sun dial.
- She’s so ugly Dracula don’t want her.
- She was so ugly as a baby, her mom had to feed her with a slingshot.
- She’s so ugly, when she walks by a bathroom, all the toilets flush.
- She’s so ugly, that when she were born, the doctor slapped her mama.
- She’s so ugly, that when she went to the zoo, the guard said: “Thanks for bringing her back.”
- She’s so ugly, when she went inside the haunted house, she came out with an application.
- She’s so ugly, she tried to enter a Hallowe’en contest, and the judges said: “Sorry, no professionals.”
- She’s so ugly she must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch!
- She’s so ugly she’s the pet of the family…her parents were too poor to own a dog!
- When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
- When she dances she makes the band skip.
- When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
- She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
- Her ass has its own congressman.
- Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
- When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.
- Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
- Her driver’s license says “Picture continued on other side.”
- The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
- “Place Your Ad Here” is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
- All the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama”
- When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
- When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
- She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
- She’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
- When I yell “Kool-Aid,” she comes crashing through the wall.
- She could sell shade.
- When she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
- People jog around her for exercise.
- I ran around her twice and got lost.
- She gets runs in her jeans.
- Her blood type is Ragu.
- When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an estimate.
- If she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take their word for it!
- She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
- When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
- She can’t even jump to a conclusion.
- She went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
- Her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
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