- After years of indiscretion,
at last I’ve come to learn,
that I must send this Valentine,
To Whom it May Concern.
- Valentine, I think you’re great,
a Chief Executive who can delegate.
And you warm this First Lady’s heart,
by having interns do the unpleasant part.
- On most every day,
I like McDonald’s fries.
On Valentine’s Day,
I prefer Monica’s thighs — Super Sized!
- Will you deny, Valentine?
- How do I love thee?
Let me count the entries in the visitors’ log.
- Monica, Monica, quiet young mouse
— taking her Bill to the floor of the House.
- Hi there! Happy Valentine’s day!
Sorry to serve your subpoena this way.
- Roses are red,
then they turn gray,
My heart goes pitter-pat
when you wear that beret.
- Shall I compare thee to my high school drama teacher?
- Twinkle, twinkle, Kenneth Starr,
I talked to Vernon in the car.
I promised him my lips are sealed,
but I’ll change my mind, for a sweet book deal.
- As soon as I’m finished bombing Iraq,
I’d like to get you in the sack.
- Will you,on the night in question of February 14th,
be my Valentine?
- Violets are blue,
roses are thorny.
All hell breaks loose,
when Bubba gets horny.
- I’ll bomb England, I’ll bomb France,
If you’ll remove my underpants.
Hey, Big Creep, on Valentine’s Day,
we’ll play Marilyn and JFK.
Just make sure that Hillary’s gone,
’cause you get me interned on!