Microsoft’s Upgrades

After first seeing Microsoft’s slogan for its Windows XP operating system, “it just works,” I couldn’t help wondering: what were the slogans for all the previous releases? After thinking about it for a while, they became obvious.

  • Windows 1.0: Good joke, eh?
  • Windows 2.0: Still funny, isn’t it?
  • Windows 286: Yeah, we’re still kidding.
  • Windows 386: Going boldly where Desqview has been for years.
  • Windows 3.0: It’s finally worth buying!
  • Windows 3.1:It’s finally worth using!
  • Windows 95:Going boldly where the Mac has been for years.
  • Windows 98:More usable! Less stable!
  • Windows 98SE:More stable! Less usable!
  • Windows ME:Less usable AND less stable!
  • NT 1.0:Give me more hardware! NOW!!!
  • NT 2.0:Darn it, I said MORE HARDWARE!!! NOW!!!!
  • NT 3.0: Which part of “more hardware” do you not understand?
  • NT 3.5: With enough hardware, I’d work. Honest.
  • NT 4.0: Does less than Win98 with twice the hardware at one-half the speed.
  • Windows 2K: Works almost as well as Windows 98! Honest!
  • Windows XP:It just works.