by Robert Fulghum
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don’t hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life–learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup–they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned–the biggest word of all–LOOK.
When in doubt, run far, far away.
You can never have too many treats.
Passing gas in public is nothing to be ashamed of.
New shoes are an absolute necessity every 6 weeks.
Ignore cues. They’re just a prompt to do more work.
Everyone loves a good, wet, slobbery kiss.
Never run when you can jog. Never jog when you can walk. And never walk when you can stand still.
Heaven is eating for at least 10 hours a day… and then sleeping the rest.
Great legs and a nice rear will get you anywhere. Big, brown eyes help too.
When you want your way, stomp hard on the nearest foot.
In times of crisis, take a poop.
Act dumb when faced with a task you don’t want to do.
Follow the herd. That way, you can’t be singled out to take the blame.
A swift kick in the butt will get anyone’s attention.
Love those who love you back, especially if they have something good to eat.
Know all the possibilities of your impossible dream.
Leave space in your relationships so you’ll have lots of room to play.
Be yourself.
Forgive, forget, and forge ahead.
It’s easier to fly when you take yourself lightly.
Reach out and touch someone lightly with your wing.
Love is the only four letter word you need to know.
Whenever you hear a bell, another angel has earned their wings.
It’s okay to cry during sad movies.
Don’t postpone joy to scrub the bathroom or clean the garage.
Love mother earth.
Whenever you feel afraid, get a new box of crayons.
Carry a spare set of wings in your pocket.
Wherever you go, that is where you will be.
Spread your wings and fly.
Always be an angel-on-call for a friend.
Good times are even better when they’re shared.
A long talk can cure almost anything.
Everyone needs someone with whom to share their secrets.
Listening is just as important as talking.
An understanding friend is better than a therapist and cheaper too!
Laughter makes the world a happier place.
Friends are like wine; they get better with age.
Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on.
Great minds think alike, especially when they are female!
When it comes to “bonding”, females do it better.
You are never too old for a slumber party!
Girls just want to have fun.
It’s important to make time to do “girl things”.
Calories don’t count when you are having lunch (or any other food) with your girlfriends.
Gems may be precious, but friendship is priceless!
There is no such thing as too much equipment.
When in doubt, exaggerate.
If it feels good, it’s fishing.
Everyone has a story about the one that got away.
It’s good to be at the top of the food chain.
Even the best lines get weak after they’ve been used a few times.
Sometimes you’ve really got to squirm to get off the hook.
Cast everything in the best light possible.
Keep one eye on your bobber at all times.
Life is a stream of consciousness thing.
Take time to smell the fishes.
I fish therefore I am.
The way to a fisherman’s heart is through his fly.
You never forget your first bite.
A fishing line has a hook at one end and an optimist at the other.
Fish always start to grow after they get away.
Life is a can of worms.
The fishing is always better on the other side of the lake.
Good things come to those who wade.
When the going gets tough, the tough go fishing.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Walk softly and carry a big chocolate bunny.
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched.
There’s no such thing as too much candy.
All work and no play can make you a basket case.
A cute little tail always attracts a lot of attention.
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
Some body parts should be floppy.
Keep your paws off other people’s jelly beans.
Good things come in small sugar-coated packages.
The grass is always greener in someone else’s basket.
An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare.
To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell.
The best things in life are sweet and gooey and come in assorted colors.
Get rid of all your black jelly beans.
SO REMEMBER…ALWAYS BELIEVE IN THE EASTER BUNNY
Don’t be afraid to dress conspicuously
“There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes”
Be polite to strangers – offer them a jelly baby
Face bureaucracy with sarcasm
Bad guys always wear black
Almost any problem can be solved by reversing the polarity of the neutron flow
Never trust anyone with a sinister beard and a high collar
When in doubt, bang the console
Nearly anyone will fall for the really big lie at some point
If it glows, avoid it
The gravel quarries are not what they seem
Bad guys will not see you if you stand really close to the wall, even if they walk right past you
All the aliens speak with British accents
All alien planets have corridors somewhere
There’s nothing the sonic screwdriver can’t handle (apart from a voice activated lock)
Every alien planet has open cast mining
“When I say run, RUN!”
“Everyone remotely interesting is mad in one way or another”
“Somewhere else the Tea’s getting cold”
The worst won’t happen if you do something immensely clever
“Humans have an amazing capacity for self-deception”
If you’re so clever, follow me up the stairs
Your best weapons are your mind, your scarf, and your brolly (British slang for umbrella)
Blowing up earth will not solve your own impotence
You never know what you’re going to get
“I am the master, you will obey me”
Life is hard, then you regenerate
However bad it may be, it’ll all blow up in the last scene
Companions may come and go, but your K9 is forever
“I’m HAPPY!”
“First things first – but not necessarily in that order”
Wake up in a happy mooo-d.
Don’t cry over spilled milk.
When chewing your cud, remember: There’s no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste!
The grass is green on the other side of the fence.
Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.
Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!
It’s better to be seen and not herd.
Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.
Never take any bull from anybody.
Always let them know who’s the bossy.
Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.
Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement.
Don’t forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
Every time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realize it’s a do-it-yourself thing.
Share all your executables.
Pay for your shareware.
Don’t hit the computer.
Back up files after you have found them.
Clean up your own messy desktop.
Don’t copy software that is not yours.
Make a smiley when you send someone a nasty message.
Wash your hands before you type.
Flush your buffers.
M & Ms and a cold can of Coke are good for you.
Live a student’s life–learn some and think some and MacDraw and IPaint and Readnews and play Tetris and hack every day some.
Take a break every two hours from staring at the terminal.
When you go out in the world, watch out for network traffic, hold connections and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little bytes in the chip: The code goes in and the graphics come out and nobody really knows how or why, but computers are all like that.
Pets and Lisas and DN350s and even the little bytes in the chip all die. So do we.
And then remember the Computer Reference Manuals and the first command you learned–the biggest command of all–Quit.
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