Category Archives: Quizzes

The Genius Test

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Think you’re a genius? Take the below quiz. Passing requires 4 correct answers.

  1. How long did the Hundred Years War last?
  2. Which country makes Panama hats?
  3. From which animal do we get cat-gut?
  4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
  5. What is a camel’s hair brush made of?
  6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
  7. What was King George VI’s first name?
  8. What colour is a purple finch?
  9. Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

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All done, genius? Check your answers below.

  1. 116 years
  2. Ecuador
  3. Sheep and Horses
  4. November
  5. Squirrel fur
  6. Dogs
  7. Albert
  8. Crimson
  9. New Zealand

Another Geek Test

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  1. I have moss growing:
    a. In my garden
    b. In my bathroom
    c. In my kitchen
    d. On my teeth

  2. When I open my mouth at parties, people:
    a. Listen
    b. Ease away slowly
    c. Stuff a live weasel down my throat

  3. I think computers are:
    a. Uninteresting
    b. Interesting
    c. Too damn small for the stuff I want to do

  4. I think sheep are:
    a. Uninteresting
    b. Interesting
    c. Annoyingly far away from where I live

  5. The Usenet Oracle is:
    a. A pack of weenies who think about “Lisa” way too much
    b. Interesting
    c. Not appreciative of the great answers I write; the Priesthood is out to get me

  6. The gender I desire to have sexual relations with is
    a. Difficult to understand
    b. Impossible to understand
    c. Clearly from a different planet
    d. How should I know? I’ve only seen pictures

  7. Bill Gates is:
    a. Bill who?
    b. Very wealthy
    c. Head of Microsoft, which produces some widely used products
    d. The Antichrist

  8. In general, people:
    a. Like me
    b. Don’t like me
    c. People? What people?

  9. My friends are:
    a. Diverse
    b. People I know from work or school
    c. Wearing the same clothing I am

  10. My dream vacation is:
    a. Tibet
    b. Europe
    c. California
    d. In a room with lots of fluorescent lights and an unlimited supply of coffee

  11. My job prospects are:
    a. Abysmal
    b. Adequate
    c. I’ll never be out of work, you hear me? Never!
    d. They pay people to do this?

Score 0 for each A, 1 for each B, 2 for each C, and 3 for each D.

19 or more: Yep. You’re a computer geek, all right.

13 – 18: You’re a geek of some stripe or another.

7 – 12: Probably not a geek, but watch it…

0 – 6: If you’re of the opposite sex, could you leave a note for me in the personals column? Please? Hello?

City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam

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Name:_____________________       Gang:________________________

  1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
  2. If Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn’t cut it?
  3. Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?
  4. Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
  5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4×4. If he has stolen 2 BMW’s and 3 4×4’s, how many Chevy’s will he have to steal to make $800?
  6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will he have left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money?
  7. If the average spray paint can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
  8. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

Family Stress Test

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How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.

  1. ___ Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then we can talk”.
  2. ___ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
  3. ___ The cat is on Valium.
  4. ___ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
  5. ___ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
  6. ___ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
  7. ___ No one has *time* to wait for microwave TV dinners.
  8. ___ “Family meetings” are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
  9. ___ You have to check your kid’s day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
  10. ___ No-Doze gives you bulk rates.

How you rate:

  • 30 – a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
  • 20-29 – You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up.
  • 10-19 – You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?
  • 0- 9 – Enjoying all that extra time? What do you *do* anyway?

Easy Quiz Questions

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  1. What is 5 divided by 1/2 plus 3?
  2. I have two coins making 55 cents but one is not a nickel. How can that be?
  3. Why are 1977 dollars worth more than 1976 dollars?
  4. What word in the English language does nearly everyone pronounce incorrectly?
  5. In the United States is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
  6. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
  7. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
  8. Which is correct – eight and eight IS fifteen or eight and eight ARE fifteen?
  9. A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung at the surface of the water. There is one foot between rungs and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long until three rungs are covered?

  10. Mr. and Mrs. Smith have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many
    people in the family?

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Easy Quiz Answers

Well, it’s supposed to be fun, not work!

  1. 13. 5 divided by .5 = 10 + 3 = 13.
  2. Only one is not a nickel, because it is a 50 cent piece. The other is a nickel.
  3. Because $1977.00 is more than $1976.00.
  4. The word ‘incorrectly’.
  5. No. If he has a widow, then the man is dead and cannot marry anyone.
  6. There is no dirt in a hole.
  7. All the months.
  8. Neither. Eight and eight equals SIXTEEN.
  9. The rungs will never be covered because the boat rises with the tide.
  10. 9 family members total. 6 daughters, 1 brother, Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith.

What Kind of Coffee Drinker Are You?

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  • When ordering coffee at a shop, what size do you generally prefer?
    1. Large
    2. Extra Large
    3. Bladder Buster 2000 (c)
  • What do you enjoy most about coffee?
    1. The aroma
    2. The flavor.
    3. The chest pains.
  • Finish this sentence: “When I’m not drinking coffee, I’m…”
    1. …thinking about coffee.
    2. …planning on drinking coffee soon.
    3. …eating coffee grounds.
  • What kind of bean do you prefer?
    1. Sumatran
    2. Guatemalan
    3. I don’t care, JUST GIVE ME SOME NOW!!
  • Finish this sentence: “Coffee makes me…”
    1. Think better.
    2. Feel better.
    3. ttTTtypPPpeEE bettRReeRr.
  • If a waitperson asks if you would like a coffee refill, you answer:
    1. “Yes, please.”
    2. “Of course.”
    3. “Well, duh!”
  • An extremely cute guy/gal asks you if they can share your coffee with you. What do you do?
    1. Say, “Sure!”
    2. Say, “No, thank you.”
    3. Threaten bodily harm.
  • What best describes coffee?
    1. Delicious refreshment.
    2. A quick pick-me-up.
    3. Life blood.
  • How close is the closest coffee shop to your home?
    1. More than three city blocks.
    2. Less than three city blocks.
    3. I’m homeless. I spent all my money on coffee.
  • What’s the worst part about drinking coffee?
    1. The aftertaste.
    2. Stopping.
    3. Can you repeat the question? I haven’t slept in four days…

    • Scoring:
    All 1 answers get 10 points.
    All 2 answers get 5 points.
    All 3 answers get 2 points.

    Score:
    100 – 50 = You like to drink coffee.
    50 – 22 = You like to drink coffee a lot.
    20 = You could drink Juan Valdez under the table.

Christmas Quiz

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  • Which Christmas tree fact is NOT true?
    1. Artificial Christmas trees have outsold real ones every year since 1991.
    2. Nova Scotia leads the world in exporting Christmas trees.
    3. Franklin Pierce was the first president to decorate an official White House Christmas tree.
    4. The Christmas tree was chosen to represent this holy holiday because it’s shape points the way to heaven.
  • Which is NOT a Christmas tradition in Italy?
    1. Performing music at shrines of the Virgin Mary and at the homes of carpenters in honor of St. Joseph.
    2. After a day of fasting, enjoying a Christmas Eve feast of eels and a spaghetti dish with anchovies.
    3. Families making tiny pizzas cut into the shape of Christmas trees, reindeer and Santa Claus.
    4. Children awaiting the visit of the good witch La Befana who rides her broom to the homes of good children on Epiphany to distribute gifts to atone for her failing to accompany three wise men on their journey to visit baby Jesus.
  • Which is NOT a true fact about the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas?”
    1. The total number of gifts that “my true love gave to me” equals 364.
    2. The total number of gifts that “my true love gave to me” equals 78.
    3. The song wasn’t even written about Christmas and it’s name was later changed from “The Twelve Days of Thanksgiving.”
    4. The song was originally written to help Catholic children in England remember different articles of faith during persecution by Protestant Monarchs.
  • Candles have long been a Christmas symbol, but do you know where the tradition started?
    1. Long before the first Christmas, it was customary in Northern Europe to light a candle at the winter solstice in celebration of the birth of light in homage to the sun god, Mithras, to encourage him to reappear in the new year.
    2. Throughout the Middle Ages, a large candle was lit at Christmas time to symbolize the Star of Bethlehem and represent Christ as “the light of the world.”
    3. Both A and B are true.
    4. Neither are true and no one knows for sure.
  • In the Dr. Seuss story, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” the Grinch gathers all the accoutrements he needs to pose as Santa Claus. What does he have but NOT use?
    1. Beard
    2. Sleigh
    3. Reindeer
    4. Sack

The Answers

  1. Which Christmas tree fact is NOT true?
    The Christmas tree was chosen to represent this holy holiday because it’s shape points the way to heaven. OK, so maybe it’s true, but the QuizQueen can’t prove that fact, as reasonable as it sounds, because it wasn’t in any of the literature she dug up for this quiz.

  2. Which is NOT a Christmas tradition in Italy?
    Families making tiny pizzas cut into the shape of Christmas trees, reindeer and Santa Claus. If you fall for The QuizQueen’s silly answers then you are even sillier!

  3. Which is NOT a true fact about the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas?”
    B and C. The song wasn’t even written about Christmas and it’s name was later changed from “The Twelve Days of Thanksgiving.” Remember your son, each day the gifts came again, so they increased exponentially rather than cumulatively. There are some Christmas carols that started out linked to different holidays, but this isn’t one of them.

  4. Candles have long been a Christmas symbol, but do you know where the tradition started?
    Both A and B are true. Shame on you if you answered “D.” Don’t you understand yet that The QuizQueen always knows!?!

  5. In the Dr. Seuss story, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” the Grinch gathers all the accoutrements he needs to pose as Santa Claus. What does he have but NOT use?
    Beard. He cut himself out a beard, but never used it. In the end, his sacks were used, although they were returned to his mountain top empty except for the presents he got from The Whos, of course.

So how does your Christmas Spirit rate after you award yourself one point for each correct answer?

  • 5—SANTA! You are the very symbol of Christmas!
  • 4—ELF! You must be one of Santa’s helpers to know so much about Christmas!
  • 2—SCROOGE! You need some work to get into the spirit of Christmas!
  • 0—GRINCH! Are you trying to steal The QuizQueen’s Christmas spirit?

The QuizQueen used to write weekly quizzes and eZines, mainly around 2005 to 2007. Always funny, always inspiring she seems to have moved away from such creative writing exercises. Her website is no longer relevant!

Childhood Quiz

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This quiz has been around since we were kids. Remember the answers?

  1. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA and Canada, where should the survivors be buried?
  2. How many species of each animal did Moses take aboard the ark?
  3. How many months have 28 days?
  4. How far can a bear walk into the woods?
  5. What is the value of coin dated 24 B.C.?
  6. How many grooves does a 45rpm phonograph record have?
  7. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then 1 mile east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 mile north to arrive at her camp. What color is the bear?
  8. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof, will the egg roll to the left side or to the right side?
  9. If a south bound electric train is traveling at a rate of 66 miles per hour and the wind is blowing to the north at 35 miles per hour, which way will the smoke blow?
  10. On which side of a chicken are the most feathers?

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ANSWERS:

  1. You don’t bury survivors.
  2. Moses didn’t have an Ark, Noah did.
  3. All twelve of them.
  4. Half way, then he is walking out of the woods.
  5. Nothing, a coin could not be dated BC.
  6. One (spiraling) on each side.
  7. The camp must be at the north pole, therefore the bear is white.
  8. Roosters don’t lay eggs, chickens do.
  9. Electric trains don’t blow smoke.
  10. The outside.

Are You Male or Female?

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  1. Aside from getting sterilized, your birth control options are:
    a. one
    b. almost a dozen

  2. When parking your car in a public garage you:
    a. toss your keys jauntily to the attendant
    b. hand your keys over politely

  3. You haven’t shaved in 4 days. The resulting stubble can be construed as:
    a. sexy
    b. gross

  4. At the doctor’s, a common request would be:
    a. “Cough.”
    b. “Would you like to scoot down just a little more dear?”

  5. As a sporty person, you need athletic support with:
    a. one cup
    b. two cups

  6. When you’re feeling insecure, what you say to your best friend is:
    a. nothing
    b. “Do I look fat?”

  7. You’ve slept with several hundred people, one term used to describe you would be:
    a. sports legend
    b. tramp

  8. The age it hits home that junk food will devastate your body is:
    a. 35
    b. 14

  9. When you hear the words “hand wash,” the first thing that comes to your mind is:
    a. your car
    b. panty hose

  10. It’s the seventh game of the playoffs, bottom of the ninth, score tied. Bases are loaded with 2 outs. The man at bat has a .311 average against southpaws, and the pitcher is a lefty. Your mate turns to you and says, “Do you want a back rub?” You are:
    a. too busy screaming at the TV to even hear the question
    b. daydreaming

  11. Your idea of basic pump is:
    a. an athletic shoe made by Nike
    b. a heeled shoe made by Fayva

  12. Multiple Orgasms are something you:
    a. give
    b. get

SCORING

a = 1 point, b = 2 points

0-12 Congratulations, you are a male. This means you have a greater lean-muscle-to-fat ratio, earn most of the money, and a select few of your sex can look forward to being president someday.

13-24 Congratulations, you are a female. This means you will live longer, have your choice of wearing either pants or a skirt in polite company and a select few of your sex can look forward to being president someday.

Basic Math

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This riddle MUST be done in your head and NOT using pen and paper.

Take 1000.
And add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add another 30.
Another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.
What is the total?

Now Scroll Down ….

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Did you get 5000? Seems most people do.
The answer actually is …

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4100. Don’t believe it? Try it with your calculator.

Don’t you feel like an idiot? Well… This has been done by MANY. The result always being the same…