What Kind of Coffee Drinker Are You?

  • When ordering coffee at a shop, what size do you generally prefer?
    1. Large
    2. Extra Large
    3. Bladder Buster 2000 (c)
  • What do you enjoy most about coffee?
    1. The aroma
    2. The flavor.
    3. The chest pains.
  • Finish this sentence: “When I’m not drinking coffee, I’m…”
    1. …thinking about coffee.
    2. …planning on drinking coffee soon.
    3. …eating coffee grounds.
  • What kind of bean do you prefer?
    1. Sumatran
    2. Guatemalan
    3. I don’t care, JUST GIVE ME SOME NOW!!
  • Finish this sentence: “Coffee makes me…”
    1. Think better.
    2. Feel better.
    3. ttTTtypPPpeEE bettRReeRr.
  • If a waitperson asks if you would like a coffee refill, you answer:
    1. “Yes, please.”
    2. “Of course.”
    3. “Well, duh!”
  • An extremely cute guy/gal asks you if they can share your coffee with you. What do you do?
    1. Say, “Sure!”
    2. Say, “No, thank you.”
    3. Threaten bodily harm.
  • What best describes coffee?
    1. Delicious refreshment.
    2. A quick pick-me-up.
    3. Life blood.
  • How close is the closest coffee shop to your home?
    1. More than three city blocks.
    2. Less than three city blocks.
    3. I’m homeless. I spent all my money on coffee.
  • What’s the worst part about drinking coffee?
    1. The aftertaste.
    2. Stopping.
    3. Can you repeat the question? I haven’t slept in four days…
  • Scoring:
    All 1 answers get 10 points.
    All 2 answers get 5 points.
    All 3 answers get 2 points.

    Score:
    100 – 50 = You like to drink coffee.
    50 – 22 = You like to drink coffee a lot.
    20 = You could drink Juan Valdez under the table.