How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
- ___ Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then we can talk”.
- ___ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
- ___ The cat is on Valium.
- ___ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
- ___ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
- ___ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
- ___ No one has *time* to wait for microwave TV dinners.
- ___ “Family meetings” are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
- ___ You have to check your kid’s day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
- ___ No-Doze gives you bulk rates.
How you rate:
- 30 – a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
- 20-29 – You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up.
- 10-19 – You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?
- 0- 9 – Enjoying all that extra time? What do you *do* anyway?