Tag Archives: lists

Altered Egos

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  • Bruise Lee: inept martial-arts student
  • Merlyn Streep: professional magician
  • Sean Cannery: manager, fish-packing plant
  • Splint Eastwood: respected osteopath
  • Bette Fidler: skilled symphony musician
  • Marlon Brandy: maker of fine liqueurs
  • Jackie Masonry: journeyman bricklayer
  • Draw Barrymore: portrait artist
  • Leonardo de Cappuccino: founder, coffee-shop chain

ABCs That Make Dreams

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  • Avoid negative people, places, things and habits.
  • Believe in yourself.
  • Consider things from every angle.
  • Don’t give up and don’t give in.
  • Enjoy life today, Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow may never come!
  • Family and friends are hidden treasures. Seek them and enjoytheir riches.
  • Give more than you planned.
  • Hang on to your dreams.
  • Ignore those who try to discourage you!
  • Just do it!
  • Keep trying no matter how hard it seems. It will get easier!
  • Love yourself first and most.
  • Make dreams happen.
  • Never lie, cheat or steal. Always strike a fair deal.
  • Open your eyes and see things as they really are.
  • Practice makes perfect.
  • Quitters never win and winners never quit!
  • Read and learn about everything important to you.
  • Stop procrastinating!
  • Take control of your own destiny.
  • Understand yourself in order to better understand others.
  • Visualize your dreams.
  • Want your dream more than anything.
  • X-ccelerate your efforts.
  • You are a unique individual. Nothing can replace YOU!
  • Zero in on your goals and GO FOR THEM!

Trivia Questions from the Year 2100

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  • What was the original name of the Russian island off the coast of Florida?
  • When did New York City become the 52nd state?
  • When was the national capital moved from Washington D.C. to Montana?
  • What was money? When did they discontinue making currency under ten dollars?
  • When did the prime rate last drop below 45%?
  • In what year did the first-class postage rate go over a dollar?
  • What are the chances of ratifying the ERA this year?
  • What was the difference between the Ayatollah from Iran and the Iacocca from Detroit?
  • When did the members of Congress first begin to make a million dollars a year?
  • Where was the Panama Canal?
  • How was Three Mile Canyon formed?
  • In what year did Arizona become our western-most state?

Headlines From The Year 2050

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  • Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen
  • Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobilof Monopoly Charges
  • 50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss
  • Baby Conceived Naturally
  • It Wasn’t the Cigarettes — It Was the Ashtrays
  • Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past With US President
  • Florida to Be Readmitted to Union
  • Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock
  • Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome young Actor. “This Is True Love,” He Beams.
  • Construction Begins On Grenada War Memorial In DC
  • Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis Ravens
  • Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle With Ex-Wife
  • Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants
  • Younger Generation’s Music Provokes Outrage of Elders
  • DC National Zoo to Receive Rare Cow
  • Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells For $6.9 Million at Sotheby’s
  • Nursing Home Lawsuit Case: Clinton Denies Candy Striper’s Allegations

Quotes from the 50’s

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Ah, the good old days. Here are some quotes from people in the US during the 1950s.

  • “I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are it’s going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.”
  • “Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long when $5,000 will only buy a used one.”
  • “If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.”
  • “Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging dime just to mail a letter?”
  • “The Government wants to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it’s going to be impossible to run a family business or farm.”
  • “If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.”
  • “When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 50 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.”
  • “Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.”
  • “Also, their music drives me wild. This ‘Rock Around The Clock’ thing is nothing but racket.”
  • “I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying ‘damn’ in ‘Gone With The Wind,’ it seems every movie has a ‘hell’ or’damn in it.”
  • “Also, it won’t be long until couples are sleeping in the same bed in the movies. What is this world coming to?”
  • “Marilyn Monroe is now showing her bra and panties, so apparently there are no standards anymore.”
  • “Pretty soon you won’t be able to buy a good 10 cent cigar.”
  • “I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.”
  • “Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the president.”
  • “Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of the country?”
  • “I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.”

Reasons The 80s Were Cooler than the 90s

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  • MTV actually played videos in the 80’s.
  • There were only one kind of Nike tennis shoes (White with a red swoosh), and they didn’t cost $125.
  • A comb in your back pocket is more practical and less painful than a ring through your nose.
  • In the 80’s playing video games actually meant going out to DO something.
  • In the 80’s, when you were out partying, you didn’t have to worry about your Mom calling you on your cell.
  • In the 80s we didn’t have to worry about getting our heads blown off atschool-unless you put a whole pack of Pop Rocks in your mouth and drank a coke.
  • New Kids on the Block vs. Hanson. OK, that one’s a draw.
  • In the early 80’s there were kids in your high school who could buy alcohol legally.
  • Feathered hair was easier to care for than dreadlocks.
  • In the 80’s you didn’t have to worry about your pants falling down all the time.

Signs Your Roommate is Stuck in the 80s

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  • She’s still dressing up like Cyndi Lauper, only now people think she’s Mimi from the Drew Carey show.
  • He’s more self-absorbed than the entire cast of Seinfeld.
  • Every time they borrow a sweatshirt from your closet, they return it with the neckline all ripped out.
  • His part-time job? Teaching the “Uptown Girl” dance class at Arthur Murray.
  • Every ten minutes it’s the same damn question – “Nancy… am I still the President?”
  • *Still* spends Friday nights dialing 867-5309 and asking for Jenny.
  • Your explanation to the police: After 1000 times, “Gag me with a spoon” sounded like a request.
  • He’s wondering why there’s no Apple IIe version of Microsoft Word.
  • Defensively says “They’re not oldies; it’s called classic rock!”
  • Can’t understand why Blondie wasn’t at the Lilith Fair.
  • Your name happens to be “Mickey,” and HE WON’T QUIT SINGING THE DAMN SONG.
  • Upon hearing the name “Lewinsky,” declares, “I don’t care what those damn reporters say, Huey Lewinsky and the News do *not blow!”

You’re a Child of the 80’s If….

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  • You know what a “burnout” is.
  • You know what “Sike” means.
  • You know the profound meaning of “Wax on, Wax off.”
  • You know that another name for a keyboard is a “Synthesizer.”
  • You wanted to be a Goonie.
  • You know who Max Headroom is.
  • You ever wore flourescent, neon if you will, clothing.
  • You could breakdance, or wish you could.
  • You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
  • Partying “like it’s 1999” seemed SO far away.
  • You wanted to be on StarSearch.
  • You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
  • You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someone who did.
  • You knew what Willis was “talkin’ ’bout.”
  • You HAD to have your MTV.
  • You hold a special place in your heart for “Back to the Future.”
  • You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
  • You actually thought “Dirty Dancing” was a REALLY good movie.
  • You heard of Garbage Pail Kids.
  • You knew “The Artist” when he was humbly called “Prince.”
  • You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
  • You own any cassettes.
  • You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we’d all be living on the moon.
  • You remember and/or own any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut.
  • Or any other stupid collection they came out with.
  • Poltergeist freaked you out.
  • You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.
  • You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
  • You know what a Doozer is.
  • You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew someone who did.
  • You ever had a Swatch Watch.
  • You can name 1/2 the members of Duran Duran.
  • You remember when “Saturday Night Live” was funny.
  • You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.
  • You know what a “Whammee” is.
  • You had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi, or knew someone who did.
  • You know the words to the theme song of “The Facts of Life.”

50 Totally Random and Useless Facts

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  1. The US interstate highway system requires that one mile in every five be straight. These straight sections function as airstrips in times of war and other emergencies.
  2. The Boston University Bridge is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
  3. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs have only about ten.
  4. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
  5. In every episode of Seinfeld, there is a superman somewhere.
  6. February 1965 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
  7. The cruise liner, Queen Elisabeth II, moves only six inches for every gallon of diesel fuel that it burns.
  8. Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book published in every major Dewey Decimal category.
  9. Columbia University is the second largest land owner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.
  10. Cat urine glows under a black light.
  11. Back in the mid-80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn’t considered 100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft’s Flight Simulator.
  12. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
  13. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
  14. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child is 2-6 years of age.
  15. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
  16. If you have three quarters, four dimes and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
  17. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
  18. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually that all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
  19. No NFL team which plays its home games in a dome has ever won a Superbowl.
  20. The first toilet ever seen on TV was on “Leave it to Beaver”.
  21. In the Great Fire of London in 1666, half of the city was burned down but only 6 people were injured.
  22. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers – they saw them as competitors.
  23. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 years old.
  24. The name Wendy was made up for the book -“Peter Pan”.
  25. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life”.
  26. It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. The frog then uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach’s contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
  27. Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.
  28. Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar, in “Midnight Cowboy”. Her entire role lasted only 6 minutes.
  29. Charles Lindburgh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight.
  30. Goethe couldn’t stand the sound of barking dogs and could only write if he had an apple rotting in the drawer of his desk.
  31. Stewardesses is the longest word that is formally typed with only the left hand.
  32. Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always the same sex.
  33. To escape the jaws of a crocodile, push your thumbs into its eyes – it will release you instantly.
  34. If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will come up heads approximately 4950 times because the heads picture weighs more than the tails side, so it ends up on the bottom more often.
  35. Hydroxydeoxycorticosterones is the longest anagram in the English language.
  36. Los Angeles’ full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Pornciuncula.
  37. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
  38. Al Capone’s business card said he was a furniture dealer.
  39. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
  40. Wilma Flintstone’s maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubbles’ maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
  41. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
  42. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
  43. The Ramses brand condom is named after the great Pharoh Ramses II, who fathered over 160 children.
  44. If NASA send birds into space, they would soon die because birds need gravity to swallow.
  45. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
  46. The computer term “byte” is a contraction of “by eight”.
  47. The average ear of corn has eight hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows.
  48. The famous split-fingered Vulcan salute is actually intended to represent the first letter (“shin”, pronounced “sheen”) of the word “shalom”. As a boy, Leonard Nimoy observed his rabbi using it in a benediction and never forgot it; he was eventually able to add it to Star Trek lore.
  49. The idea that “the Boogey Man will get you” comes from the Boogey people, who still inhabit an area of Indonesia. These people still act as pirates today, and attack passing ships.
  50. Underground is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters “und”

You’re Probably Aged 25 to 35 If…

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  • You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day.
  • You could sing “99 Red Balloons” in English and in German.
  • You’re starting to believe that maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.
  • You did the LeFreak with Chic.
  • “All-skate, change directions” means something to you.
  • In high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play “1999” by Prince over and over again.
  • You wore anything Izod, especially collar “up,” or the windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.
  • You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
  • You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna, Rick Springfield, or Cyndi Lauper video.
  • You actually know who Rick Springfield is.
  • You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you in the “tail gunner” position.
  • Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
  • You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon
  • You had a poster of Bo, Luke & Daisy Duke.
  • There was nothing to question about Bert n’ Ernie living together.
  • Knickers and leg warmers were cool.
  • You ever wanted to learn to play “Stairway to Heaven” on the guitar and choreographed “Dancing Queen” by yourself in your room.
  • You were afraid of the Sleestaks on Land of the Lost.
  • The first time you ever kissed someone was at a dance during “Crazy for You” by Madonna.
  • You ever used the phrase “kiss mah grits” in conversation.
  • You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura’s wedding.
  • You know who shot J.R.
  • This rings a bell: “and my name, is Charlie. They work for me.”
  • You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut.
  • You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed “867-5309” to see if Jenny would answer.
  • You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.
  • You remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers and you had to move the selector switch accordingly.
  • Two Words: Feathered hair
  • Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those “brick-sized” packages of Bazooka gum.
  • The phrase “Where’s the beef?” still doubles you over with laughter.