- “I have always found strangers sexy.”- Hugh Grant, six months before he was arrested with stranger Divine Brown.
- “I would not wish to be Prime Minister, dear.”- Margaret Thatcher in 1973.
- “That rainbow song’s no good. Take it out.”- MGM memo after first showing of The Wizard Of Oz.
- “You’d better learn secretarial skills or else get married.”- Modelling agency, rejecting Marilyn Monroe in 1944.
- “Radio has no future.”
“X-rays are clearly a hoax.”
“The aeroplane is scientifically impossible.”
– Royal Society president Lord Kelvin, 1897-9. - “You ought to go back to driving a truck.”- Concert manager, firing Elvis Presley in 1954.
- “Forget it. No Civil War picture ever made a nickel.”- MGM executive, advising against investing in Gone With The Wind.
- “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.”- A film company’s verdict on Fred Astaire’s 1928 screen test.
- “Very interesting, Whittle, my boy, but it will never work.”- Professor of Aeronautical Engineering at Cambridge, shown Frank Whittle’s plan for the jet engine.
- “There will be one million cases of AIDS in Britain by 1991.”- World Health Organization in a 1989 report. It over-estimated by 992,301 cases.
- “The Beatles? They’re on the wane.”- The Duke of Edinburgh in Canada, 1965. They went on to produce a string of Number 1 hits.
- “The atom bomb will never go off – and I speak as an expert in explosives.”- U.S. Admiral William Leahy in 1945.
- “All saved from Titanic after collision.”- New York Evening Sun, April 15 1912.
- “Brain work will cause women to go bald.”- Berlin professor, 1914.
- “Television won’t matter in your lifetime or mine.”- Radio Times editor Rex Lambert, 1936.
- “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”- director of the US Patent Office, 1899.
- “And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam.”- Newsweek magazine, predicting popular holidays for the late 1960s.
Tag Archives: quotes
Goreisms
There were Bushisms and Quayleisms, and now there are Goreisms…..
- “I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.”
- “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
- “Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”
- “Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts.”
- “Mars is essentially in the same orbit… Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.”
- “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”
- “The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”
- “I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change.”
- “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared.'”
- “Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.”
- “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”
- “The future will be better tomorrow.”
- “We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.”
- “People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.”
- “I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”
- “We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.”
- “Public speaking is very easy.”
- “I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat.”
- “A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.”
- “When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.
- “Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.”
- “We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
- “For NASA, space is still a high priority.”
- “Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.”
- “The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make.”
- “We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.”
- “It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
- “[It’s] time for the human race to enter the solar system.”
Airline Quips
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
- “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…”
- “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane.
- “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.”
- Pilot – “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land… it’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern.”
- And, after landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
- As we waited just off the runway for another airliner to cross in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve luggage from the overhead bins. The head attendant announced on the intercom, “This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft.”
- As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”
- After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”
- From a Southwest Airlines employee…. “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
- “Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”
- “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments.”
- Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, “We’ve reached our cruising altitude now, and I’m turning off the seat belt sign. I’m switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for the rest of the flight.”
- “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children.”
- “As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
- “Last one off the plane must clean it.”
- And from the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry… Unfortunately none of them are on this flight…!
- Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what ya’ll are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendants’ fault…..it was the asphalt!”
- Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”
- Another flight Attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
- An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot, “what is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?”
- After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
- Part of a Flight Attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.”
Quotes from the 50’s
Ah, the good old days. Here are some quotes from people in the US during the 1950s.
- “I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are it’s going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.”
- “Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long when $5,000 will only buy a used one.”
- “If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.”
- “Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging dime just to mail a letter?”
- “The Government wants to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it’s going to be impossible to run a family business or farm.”
- “If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.”
- “When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 50 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.”
- “Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.”
- “Also, their music drives me wild. This ‘Rock Around The Clock’ thing is nothing but racket.”
- “I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying ‘damn’ in ‘Gone With The Wind,’ it seems every movie has a ‘hell’ or’damn in it.”
- “Also, it won’t be long until couples are sleeping in the same bed in the movies. What is this world coming to?”
- “Marilyn Monroe is now showing her bra and panties, so apparently there are no standards anymore.”
- “Pretty soon you won’t be able to buy a good 10 cent cigar.”
- “I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.”
- “Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the president.”
- “Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of the country?”
- “I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.”
Famous Dog Quotes
- “Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.”
— Gene Hill - “Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”
— Dave Barry - “Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
— Groucho Marx. - “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”
— Robert Benchley - “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
— Sue Murphy - “Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?”
— Unknown - “I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”
— Unknown - “I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.”
— August Strindberg - “No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.”
— Fran Lebowitz - “Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul– chicken, pork,
half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!”
— Anne Tyler - “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”
— Rita Rudner - “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.”
— Joe Weinstein - “Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.”
— Unknown - “If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.”
— James Thurber - “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
— Ann Landers - “Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
— Robert A. Heinlein - “In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore
him.”
— Dereke Bruce - “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.”
— Ben Williams - “Cat’s Motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.”
— Unknown - “Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail..”
— Unknown - “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.”
— Christopher Morley - “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”
— Josh Billings - “Man is a dog’s idea of what God should be.”
— Holbrook Jackson - “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
— Andrew A. Rooney - “Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
— Mark Twain - “I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.”
— Abraham Lincoln - “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
— Unknown - “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
— Mark Twain - “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans
are nuts.”
— John Steinbeck - “To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.”
— Aldous Huxley - “When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.”
— Edward Abbey - “He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”
— Unknown