Application to Live in New Jersey

Name: _____________________________

Nickname: _____________________________

Address: _____________________________

Exit # (NJ Turnpike): _______

Exit # (Garden State Parkway): _______

  1. Ethnic Background:
    ___Italian
    ___Sicilian
    ___Jewish
    ___Italian
    ___Italian
  2. Backyard Smells Like:
    ___Sewage
    ___Sulfur
    ___Garbage
    ___All 3
  3. # of Muscle Shirts Owned:
    ___5-10
    ___10-15
    ___15-20
    ___20 and above
  4. # of Bon Jovi Tour Shirts Owned:
    ___5-10
    ___10-15
    ___15-20
    ___20 and above
  5. # of Bon Jovi Shirts That are Also Muscle Shirts:
    ___5-10
    ___10-15
    ___15-20
    ___20 and above
  6. Brand of Jeans Preferred:
    ___Sergio Valente
    ___Jordache
    ___Sassoon
    ___Z.Cavaricci
  7. Percentage of Wardrobe Which is Skintight:
    ___100%
    ___95-100%
    ___90-95%
    ___85-90%
  8. # of Gold Chains Owned:
    ___10-15
    ___15-20
    ___20-25
    ___25 and above
  9. # of Gold Chains Worn at One Time:
    ___5-10
    ___10-15
    ___15-20
    ___20 and above
  10. Approximate Value of ALL jewelry:
    ___$5-$25
    ___$25-$50
    ___$50-$100
    ___Stolen
  11. Number of Applications of Obsession/Polo/Drakar Before Going Out:
    ___10-15
    ___15-25
    ___25 and above
  12. Gold Cap on at Least One Tooth?
    ___Yes
    ___No
  13. Hair Height (must be completed by applicants seeking residency in Edgewater or Bayonne)
    ___6-8 inches
    ___8-12 inches
    ___1-2 feet
    ___More than 2 feet
  14. Hair Products Used:
    ___Hair Spray
    ___Extra-Hold Lacquer
    ___Styling Gel
    ___Mousse
    ___Extra
  15. Hold Styling Gel:
    ___Bondo
    ___Spackle
    ___40 Weight Oil
    ___Krazy Glue
  16. Automobile Owned:
    ___IROC Z
    ___Firebird
    ___Camaro
    ___Mustang
    ___Thunderbird
  17. Number of Inches Car is Off the Ground:
    ___6-8 inches
    ___4-6 inches
    ___2-4 inches
    ___Under 2 inches
  18. Car Paraphernalia:
    ___Gold chain around license plate
    ___Neon lights around license plate
    ___Neon lights under car
    ___Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging on rear view mirror
    ___Garter hanging from rear view mirror
    ___Chrome hubcaps
    ___Stick-on window tinting
    ___Stick-on paint splash stickers
    ___Fuzzy dice tattoo
    ___Crown deodorizer on dash or in rear window
  19. Favorite Sports Team:
    ___Fuckin’ Giants
    ___Fuckin’ Jets
    ___Fuckin’ Mets
    ___Fuckin’ Yankees
    ___Fuckin’ Nets
    ___Fuckin’ Knicks
    ___Fuckin’ Devils
    ___Fuckin’ Rangers
    ___Fuckin’ Islanders
  20. Favorite Music:
    ___Techno
    ___Bon Jovi
    ___Bruce Springsteen
  21. Favorite Actor/Actress:
    ___Joe Pesci
    ___Robert DeNiro
    ___Al Pacino
    ___Marisa Tomei
    ___Annette Funicello
    ___Anna Magnani
  22. Favorite Movie:
    ___The Godfather
    ___The Godfather Part II
    ___The Godfather Part III
    ___Goodfellas
    ___My Cousin Vinnie
  23. Favorite Profanity (proceeded by YO!):
    ___Motherfucker
    ___Cocksucker
    ___Jerkoff
    ___Scumbag
    ___Douche Bag
  24. # of Religious Statutes at Grandparents House:
    ___5-10
    ___10-15
    ___15-20
    ___20 and above
  25. Relatives Named “Sal”:
    ___5-10
    ___10-15
    ___15-20
    ___20 and above
  26. Favorite International Destination:
    ___Belmar
    ___Seaside Heights
    ___Point Pleasant
    ___Bayonne
    ___Great Adventure
    ___Secaucus
  27. Favorite Driving Technique
    ___Tailgating
    ___Attacking stop signs
    ___Doing 106 mph on the right shoulder of the parkway
    ___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (non-related)
    ___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (own grandparents)