- Their No. 1 product would be “Microsoft Winders”.
- Instead of an hourglass icon you’d get an empty beer bottle.
- Occasionally, you’d bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.
- Instead of “Yes”, “No”, or “Cancel”, dialog boxes would give you the choice of “Aww-right”, “Naw”, or “Git”.
- Instead of “Ta-Dah!”, the opening sound would be “Dueling Banjos”.
- The “Recycle Bin” would be an outhouse.
- Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you’d hear “Freebird!”
- Instead of “Start Me Up”, the Winders theme song would be “Boot Scootin’ Boogie”.
- Powerpoint would be named “ParPawnt”.
- Instead of “VP”, Microsoft big shots would be called “Cuz”.
- Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
- Daisy Duke screen saver.
- “Well, the first thing you know old Bill’s a billionaire…”
- Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.
- Microsoft CEO “Billy-Bob” (a.k.a. “Bubba”) Gates.
- “ParPawnt” would have a “Pond Scum” and a “Junk Yard” presentation template.
- One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12 gauge shotgun.
- “This computer protected by Smith and Wesson” screen saver.
- Directions to Corporate Headquarters – “Down the road a block or so”.
- Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker-“Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me”.
Tag Archives: regional
Winders eXP – Alabama Edition
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of Windows eXP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS eXP with a background picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol’ Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and CDs are them little ole plastic disc thangs.
Other features:
Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
A few terms may need translation:
- OK – ats aww-right
- cancel – hail no
- reset – aw shoot
- yes – shore
- no – Naaaa
- find – hunt-fer it
- go to – over yonder
- back – back yonder
- help – hep me out here
- stop – ternit off
- start – crank it up
- settings – sittins
- programs – stuff at does stuff
- documents – stuff I done done
Also note that Winders eXP does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to Winders eXP:
- tiperiter – A word processor
- colering book – a graphics program
- addin mershene – calculator
- outhouse paper – notepad
- jupe-box – CD Player
- iner-net – Internet Explorer
- pichers – A graphics viewer
- IRS – M/S accounting software
- IRS2 – M/S accounting software with hidden files
- coon dog – American kennel club records
- fishin – Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records
- NRA – National Rifle Association
- shot gun – Remington Arms price list
- riffel – Winchester price list
- pisstel – Smith & Wesson price list
- truck – Ford and Chevrolet dealers in AL by zip code
- house – Nearest mobile home repair service by zip code
- car – same as truck just need two lists in Alabama
- cuzzins – family history usually a 3 meg file
- tax records – usually an empty file
- shells – ammunition inventory another 3 meg file
- bud – list of Budweiser dealers by zip code
- rasin – NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV stations that carry the race
- car n truck parts – nearest Junk yard by zip code
- doc – veterinarians by zip code
A Minnesota Guide to Computer Lingo
- LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter
- LOG OFF: don’t add no more vood
- MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove
- MEGAHERTZ: vhen da big log drops on your barefoot in da morning
- FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from pilingk too much vood
- RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork
- HARD DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter
- PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season
- ENTER: come on in
- WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets below zero
- SCREEN: vhat you gotta fix on da windows during black fly season
- CHIP: vhat ya munch during Vikings games
- MICROCHIP: vhat’s left in da bag vhen da chips are gone
- MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly
- DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix’s wife
- LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit
- KEYBOARD: vhere ya suppose to hang da keys so da Misses can find em
- SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?
- MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard
- MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna dat holds up da roof
- PORT: vhere da commercial fishin guys tie up dere boats
- DOCKING STATION: da same as PORT
- RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can’t remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da wife asks about it
Yorn uh Goood O’l Boy Ifin…
Yorn uh goood O’l Boy ifin yah tink tha follin:
- LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter.
- LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
- MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
- DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk.
- MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.
- FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
- RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
- HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.
- PROMPT: Whut the mail ain’t in the winter time.
- WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it’s cold outside.
- SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it’s blak fly season.
- BYTE: Whut them flys do.
- CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
- MICRO CHIP: Whut’s in the bottom of the munchie bag.
- MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields.
- DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife.
- LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.
- KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the keys.
- SOFTWARE: Them plastic forks and knifs.
- MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.
- MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.
- PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine
- ENTER: Northerner talk fer “C’mon in y’all”
- RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain’t ‘member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.
- MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
How To Tell Where a Driver is From
- One hand on wheel, one hand on horn
- Chicago
- One hand on wheel, one finger out window
- New York
- One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator
- Boston
- One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator
- California.
- With gun in lap
- Los Angeles
- Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror
- Ohio, but driving in California
- Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat
- Italy
- One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game
- Seattle
- One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window
- Texas city male
- One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70 mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road
- Texas country male
- One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment
- Texas female.
- Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another’s car
- Colorado.
- One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for unmarked State Patrol cars and landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn’t hit other motorists so as not to litter
- Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.
- Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna
- West Virginia male.
- Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel
- Las Vegas.
- Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on
- Florida “seasoned citizen” driver, also known as “no-see-um.”
- Two hands on the wheel, driving forty-five in a seventy mph zone in the left lane, with the left turn signal on, and making a right turn
- New Mexico resident
Application to Live in Arkansas
Personal Information
- Name:
- Nickname:
- CB Handle:
- Address (RFD):
- Daddy (if unknown, list 3 suspects):
- Neck Shade:
( ) Light Red
( ) Medium Red
( ) Dark Red
( ) Other - Number of Teeth Exposed in Full Grin:
Upper
Lower - Make of Pickup:
Size of Tire: - Hounds:
Type:
( ) Blue Tick
( ) Beagle
( ) Black & Tan
( ) Other - Length of Right Leg:
Length of Left Leg: - How Many Cars/Makes in Front Yard?:
How Many on Blocks: - How many kitchen appliances on Front Porch:
on Back Porch: - When and where was your last Elvis sighting:
- Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags?
( )Yes ( ) No - Do you own any shoes (not boots)?
( ) Yes ( ) No - Are you married to any of the following (circle all that apply)?
Sister Cousin Cousin’s Sister Aunt
Other, explain: - Does your wife weigh more than your pickup?
( ) Yes ( ) No - Can you sign your own name and always spell it right?
( ) Yes
( ) No - Have you EVER had more than one bath in a week?
( ) Yes ( ) No
Medical Information
- Do you have at least two of the following?
- ( ) B.O.
( ) Crabs
( ) Lice
( ) Scabies
( ) Bad Breath
( ) Fleas
( ) Tattoos
( ) Crossed Eyes
( ) Runny Nose - Do you have:
- ( ) Green Teeth
( ) Brown Teeth
( ) Yellow Teeth
( ) Any Teeth
( ) # of teeth missing?
General Information
- Can you count past 10 with your shoes on?
( ) Yes ( ) No - Past 21 with your shoes off and fly open?
( ) Yes ( ) No - Favorite Weapon:
( ) Tire Iron
( ) Pick Handle
( ) Shotgun
( ) Log Chain - Favorite Pasttime:
( ) Drinkin’
( ) Coon Huntin’
( ) Fishin’
( ) Other - Truck Equipped with:
( ) 8-Track
( ) Fuzzbuster
( ) Gun Rack
( ) Roll Bar
( ) CB Radio
( ) Beer Cans
( ) Squirrel Tail
( ) Rebel Flag - Favorite Vocalist:
( ) Willie Nelson
( ) Johnny Cash
( ) Elvis
( ) Conway Twitty
( ) Loretta Lynn - Cap Emblems:
( ) Bud
( ) John Deere
( ) CAT
( ) Skoal
( ) Jack Daniels - Bumper Stickers:
( ) Honk if you love Jesus
( ) Old Fart
( ) Dig Clams - Memberships:
( ) NRA
( ) VFW
( ) KKK
( ) 700 Club
( ) BPOE
Your Signature (one X will do)
Date:
West Virginia State Residency Application
- Last Name: _________________________
- First Name:
____ Billy-Bob
____ Billy-Joe
____ Billy-Ray
____ Billy-Sue
____ Billy-Mae
____ Billy-Jack
(Check appropriate box) - Age: ____
- Sex: ____ M ____ F _____ N/A
- Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
- CB Handle: _____________________
- Occupation:
____ Farmer
____ Mechanic
____ Hair Dresser
____ Un-employed
____ Coal Miner - Spouse’s Name: __________________________
- Relationship with spouse:
____ Sister
____ Brother
____ Aunt
____ Uncle
____ Cousin
____ Mother
____ Father
____ Son
____ Daughter
____ Pet - Number of children living in household: ___
- Number that are yours: ___
- Mother’s Name: _______________________
- Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
- Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
- Do you (__)own or (___)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
- Vehicles:
____ Total number of vehicles you own
____ Number of vehicles that still crank
____ Number of vehicles in front yard
____ Number of vehicles in back yard
____ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
____ Number of refrigerators on front porch - Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed - Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_
Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of pickup: _________ - Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
____ The National Enquirer
____ The Globe
____ TV Guide
____ Soap Opera Digest
____ Gun World - ____ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
- ____ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
- ____ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO
- How often do you bathe:
____ Weekly
____ Monthly
____ Holidays
____ Not Applicable - Color of teeth:
____ Yellow
____ Brownish-Yellow
____ Brown
____ Black
____ No teeth
____ N/A - Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
____ Red-Man - How far is your home from a paved road?
____ 1 mile
____ 2 miles
____ don’t know
____ can’t get there from here - Reason for continued residence in West Virginia:
____ can’t bear to leave brother’s behind
____ daddy won’t give me my pants back
____ liberal wife beating laws - Bumper Stickers:
____ Eat more Possum
____ My other car is a piece of shit too
____ Honk if you love Jesus
____ If you ain’t a cowboy, you ain’t shit
____ Red-man Chewing Tobacco
____ Wave if you’re horny - Favorite Recreation:
____ Square Dancin’
____ Possum Huntin’
____ Skinny Dippin’
____ Craw Daddin’
____ Gospel Singin’
____ 4-Wheelin’
____ Drankin’
____ Spittin’ Backy
____ Bull Chip Trowin’
____ Honky Tonkin’
____ Noodlin’
____ Other - Number of Dogs: ____
- Type:
____ Blue Tick
____ Beagle
____ Black & Tan
____ Bird Dawg
- Type:
- Cap Emblem:
____ John Deere
____ McCulloch Chain Saws
____ Budweiser
____ Vo-Tech
____ Skoal
____ Coors
____ NAPA
____ Smile if you’re Not Wearing Underwear - Memberships:
____ KKK
____ NRA
____ Moose
____ PTL Club
____ AA
____ Bass Club
____ VFW
____ Quiltin’ Bee
____ American Legion
____ United Sons/Daughters of the Confederacy
____ John Birch Society - Do you have at least two of the following medical conditions:
____ B.O.
____ Crabs
____ Head Lice
____ Rabies
____ Trench Mouth
____ Runny Nose
____ Bad Breath
____ Chafing
Application to Live in Northern Wisconsin
- Name:_______________________________________________
- Nickname:________________
C.B. Handle_________________ - Mobile Home Color:
____ Two-tone, Brown and White
____ Two-tone, Pink and White
____ Faded Green - Daddy: (if unknown, attach list of three suspects):
_______________ ______________ _____________
- Mama: _____________
- Neck Shade
____ Light Red
____ Medium Red
____ Dark Red - Number of teeth in exposed full grin
____ Upper
____ Lower - Model of pickup truck:__________
Size of tires: _____________ - ____ Number of beer cans on floor of pickup truck
- Truck equipped with:
____ Gun Rack
____ Mud Flaps
____ Camper Top
____ Air Horn
____ American Flag
____ 4-W Drive
____ 8-Track
____ Rust
____ Fuzz Buster
____ Roll Bar
____ C.B.
____ Dents
____ Load of wood
____ Mud Tires
____ Deer poaching spot light
____ Playboy emblem hanging from rearview mirror
____ Woman’s garter hanging from rearview mirror
____ Pine tree air freshener hanging from rearview mirror - Bumper Stickers
____ Honk if You’re Horny
____ *uck ’em Bucky
____ Almost Heaven, Hayward
____ Where the Hell is Rhinelander?
____ Feminazis for Kohl
____ Wisconsin State Bird: Mosquito
____ Ducks Unlimited
____ Walleyes Unlimited
____ Tommy Bartlett Water Show
____ Nuke Illinois
____ Eat Cheese or Die
____ Cheddarheads for Bush
____ You’ll Get My Gun When You Pry My Cold Dead Fingers From Around The Barrel
____ The Pack is Back (on bumper since 1973) - Favorite Meal:
____ Anything fried in lard
____ Pickled pigs feet
____ Bratwurst and Old Milwaukee
____ Venison sausage and Old Milwaukee
____ Cheesecurds and Old Milwaukee
____ Green bean and mushroom soup casserole
____ Slim Jims and lime Jell-o - Favorite Music:
____ Country
____ Western
____ Country Western
____ Anything played by an accordian - Favorite Recreation:
____ Deer Huntin
____ Snowmobilin
____ Fishin with live bait
____ Watching Green Acres reruns
____ Deer huntin while drinking
____ Snowmobilin while drinking
____ Fishin with live bait while drinking
____ Watchin Green Acres while drinking - Favorite Weapon:
____ .22
____ 30/30
____ 30/06
____ Ice auger
____ Chain saw
____ Tire iron
____ Forehead
____ Wife - Favorite Fragrance:
____ Wet dogs
____ WD-40
____ Old Milwaukee
____ Minnow bucket
____ Frying Spam
____ Diesel fuel
____ A paper mill on a hot day in August
____ Fish guts after a week in the trash (in the garage) in August
____ Any scent eminating from a bodily orifice - Favorite Cap Emblem:
____ Old Milwaukee
____ Stihl
____ Blatz
____ Skoal
____ Packers
____ Pabst
____ John Deere
____ Hamms
____ Brewers
____ Point Beer
____ Old Fart
____ Old Style - Favorite Reading:
____ Fishing Facts
____ TV Guide
____ Beer Bottle Labels
____ Enquirer
____ Guns & Ammo
____ Today’s Mercenary
____ Polka Digest
____ Aryan Review
____ Welfare Application
____ Sports Illustrated (swimsuit edition only) - ____ Length of Right Leg:
____ Length of Left Leg - Things in Your Front Yard:
____ Various kitchen appliances
____ Piles of split wood
____ Cars on blocks
____ Dismantled snowmobiles
____ Dog run with all the grass worn away down to rock hard dirt
____ Broken, metal frame, screen gazebo
____ Deer hanging from tree limb–in season
____ Deer Hanging from tree limb–out of season
____ Wood cut-out of bent over woman - When was your last sighting of Elvis?:
_________________ - Do you wear mostly polyester pant with snags?:
____ yes
____ no - Do you own any shoes? (not counting boots):
____ yes
____ no - Are you married to any of the following:
____ Sister
____ Cousin
____ Cousin’s sister - Can you beat your wife at arm wrestling?
____ yes
____ no - Typical Greeting:
____ Good Morning, dere
____ Dem Packers is playing like a buncha old women
____ Dem Brewers is playing like a buncha old women
____ Dem Badgers is playing like a buncha old women
____ Dem Bucks is playing like a buncha old women
____ Dey should take da whole buncha dem Madison liberals and queers and line em up and shoot em.
____ Dey should just let dem Indians spear dose idiots at the DNR
____ Ya, hey - Favorite Tavern Name:
____ County Trunk Bar
____ Dew Drop Inn
____ Deer Drop Inn
____ Deer Droppings Inn
____ LakeSide Supper Club
____ LakeView Supper Club
____ LakeWood Supper Club
____ PineSide Supper Club
____ PineView Supper Club
____ PineWood Supper Club - Favorite Automobile:
____ ’67 Ford Galaxy
____ ’67 Ford Galaxy with transmission
____ ’67 Ford Galaxy with ’73 Chevy Impala transmission
____ ’67 Ford Galaxy with ’73 Chevy Impala transmission and ’71 Buick LeSabre engine - Farthest Point South Ever Traveled:
____ County Trunk GG
____ County Trunk CC
____ County Trunk Bar
____ Winter
____ Polar
____ Klondike
____ Maple
____ Poplar
____ Birchwood
____ Manitowish
____ Namekagon
____ Ojibwa
____ Peru
____ Scandinavia
____ Athens
____ Irma
____ Helma
____ Loretta
____ Beaver
____ An ice shanty on the Flambeau Flowage - Most Memorable Event You’ve Ever Attended
____ Minocqua Moose Call Competition
____ Phelps Mister Potato Carnival
____ Gleason Grouse Mating Gala
____ Herbster Jaycees Seagull Doo-Doo Days
____ Lake Tomahawk Crew Cut Championships
____ Omega Outboard Motor Repair Finals
____ Spread Eagle International Proctologists Convention
____ Chetek Carp Queen Beauty Contest and Carp Cuisine Cook-Off
____ Eagle River Shout-Off for the Deaf (held week after the snowmobile races)
Your Signature (an X will do): ________________________________
Application to Live in Alabama
- Name: (Check appropriate box)
____Billy-Bob
____Billy-Joe
____Billy-Ray
____Billy-Sue
____Billy-Mae
____Billy-Jack - Age: ____
- Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
- Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
- Occupation:
____Farmer
____Mechanic
____Hair Dresser
____Un-employed - Spouse’s Name: __________________________
- Relationship with spouse:
- Number of children living in household: ___
- Number that are yours: ___
- Mother’s Name: _______________________
- Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
- Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
- Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
- ____Total number of vehicles you own
____Number of vehicles that still crank
____Number of vehicles in front yard
____Number of vehicles in back yard
____Number of vehicles on cement blocks - Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194__
- Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____truck
____bedroom
____bathroom
____kitchen
____shed - Do you have a gun rack?
____Yes
____No; please explain:_______________________________________________________ - Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
____The National Enquirer
____The Globe
____TV Guide
____Soap Opera Digest
____Rifle and Shotgun - How many times have you:
____Seen a UFO?
____Been abducted by evil space aliens?
____Seen Elvis?
____Seen Elvis in a UFO? - How often do you bathe:
____Weekly
____Monthly
____Not Applicable - Color of teeth:
____Yellow
____Brownish-Yellow
____Brown
____Black
____N/A - Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
____Red-Man - How far is your home from a paved road?
____1 mile
____2 miles
____don’t know
____what’s a road?
____Sister
____Brother
____Aunt
____Uncle
____Cousin
____Mother
____Father
____Son
____Daughter
____Pet
Application to Live in New Jersey
Name: _____________________________
Nickname: _____________________________
Address: _____________________________
Exit # (NJ Turnpike): _______
Exit # (Garden State Parkway): _______
- Ethnic Background:
___Italian
___Sicilian
___Jewish
___Italian
___Italian - Backyard Smells Like:
___Sewage
___Sulfur
___Garbage
___All 3 - # of Muscle Shirts Owned:
___5-10
___10-15
___15-20
___20 and above - # of Bon Jovi Tour Shirts Owned:
___5-10
___10-15
___15-20
___20 and above - # of Bon Jovi Shirts That are Also Muscle Shirts:
___5-10
___10-15
___15-20
___20 and above - Brand of Jeans Preferred:
___Sergio Valente
___Jordache
___Sassoon
___Z.Cavaricci - Percentage of Wardrobe Which is Skintight:
___100%
___95-100%
___90-95%
___85-90% - # of Gold Chains Owned:
___10-15
___15-20
___20-25
___25 and above - # of Gold Chains Worn at One Time:
___5-10
___10-15
___15-20
___20 and above - Approximate Value of ALL jewelry:
___$5-$25
___$25-$50
___$50-$100
___Stolen - Number of Applications of Obsession/Polo/Drakar Before Going Out:
___10-15
___15-25
___25 and above - Gold Cap on at Least One Tooth?
___Yes
___No - Hair Height (must be completed by applicants seeking residency in Edgewater or Bayonne)
___6-8 inches
___8-12 inches
___1-2 feet
___More than 2 feet - Hair Products Used:
___Hair Spray
___Extra-Hold Lacquer
___Styling Gel
___Mousse
___Extra - Hold Styling Gel:
___Bondo
___Spackle
___40 Weight Oil
___Krazy Glue - Automobile Owned:
___IROC Z
___Firebird
___Camaro
___Mustang
___Thunderbird - Number of Inches Car is Off the Ground:
___6-8 inches
___4-6 inches
___2-4 inches
___Under 2 inches - Car Paraphernalia:
___Gold chain around license plate
___Neon lights around license plate
___Neon lights under car
___Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging on rear view mirror
___Garter hanging from rear view mirror
___Chrome hubcaps
___Stick-on window tinting
___Stick-on paint splash stickers
___Fuzzy dice tattoo
___Crown deodorizer on dash or in rear window - Favorite Sports Team:
___Fuckin’ Giants
___Fuckin’ Jets
___Fuckin’ Mets
___Fuckin’ Yankees
___Fuckin’ Nets
___Fuckin’ Knicks
___Fuckin’ Devils
___Fuckin’ Rangers
___Fuckin’ Islanders - Favorite Music:
___Techno
___Bon Jovi
___Bruce Springsteen - Favorite Actor/Actress:
___Joe Pesci
___Robert DeNiro
___Al Pacino
___Marisa Tomei
___Annette Funicello
___Anna Magnani - Favorite Movie:
___The Godfather
___The Godfather Part II
___The Godfather Part III
___Goodfellas
___My Cousin Vinnie - Favorite Profanity (proceeded by YO!):
___Motherfucker
___Cocksucker
___Jerkoff
___Scumbag
___Douche Bag - # of Religious Statutes at Grandparents House:
___5-10
___10-15
___15-20
___20 and above - Relatives Named “Sal”:
___5-10
___10-15
___15-20
___20 and above - Favorite International Destination:
___Belmar
___Seaside Heights
___Point Pleasant
___Bayonne
___Great Adventure
___Secaucus - Favorite Driving Technique
___Tailgating
___Attacking stop signs
___Doing 106 mph on the right shoulder of the parkway
___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (non-related)
___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (own grandparents)