After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old sweats and blouse and proceeded to wash her hair and give herself a facial. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she wrapped a towel around her head and with cold creme on her face stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later….”Da-ad….”
“What?”
“I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?”
“No. You had your chance. Lights out.”
Five minutes later…
“Da-aaaad…..”
“WHAT?”
“I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??”
“I told you NO!” If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!!”
Five minutes later…
“Daaaa-aaaad…..”
“WHAT!”
“When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?”
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray for a woman who’s very cheap.
One who’s sexy, blonde and long.
Who notices that she’s mostly wrong.
One who sucks and doesn’t speak.
And promises to do so at least once a week.
I pray that she is very randy,
’cause one like that would come in pretty handy.
Opens her legs and lies on the floor,
and once I’m done, she wants no more.
Oh, send me a woman who will not play with my mind.
Who knows what she wants and that’s a LOT from behind!
One who’ll screw till my body’s a twitchin’
and brings me a beer when she comes from the kitchen!
I pray that she’ll last right up to the end,
And would never complain when I do her best friend.
Thanks in advance and you know I can’t wait,
so I’ll screw all the rest ’cause it’s never too late.
Amen.