Blamestorming
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Ego Surfing
Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one’s own name.
Swiped Out
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. (And it only happens when you only have $.23 cents in your wallet)
GOOD Job
A “Get-Out-Of-Debt” job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Tourists
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. “We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.”
Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence.
SnailMail
“REAL” mail that the post office actually sends PS. In the US, Personal snail mail has dropped 10% last because of email.
Starter
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce. Marriage with no kids, no property and no regrets.
SITCOMs
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Mouse Potato
The online, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato. ARE YOU ONE?
Anonymiss
The act of forgetting someone’s name immediately upon being introduced.
Crough
To cough during a play or concert, causing other people around you to cough.
Jennamnesia
To be so drunk as to forget you’re the President’s daughter.
Bobbityboo
Mental distress in males inspired by thoughts of surgically-removed penises.
Spaffle
Completely cooked waffle iron runoff.
Smealth
The ability to secretly leave behind body odor in an elevator to be blamed on the next person who enters.
Algoria
Finding one’s Day Planner suddenly very, very, open.
Massturbation
Group phone sex.
Dopplersation
A discussion held by two people who are continuing to move away from each other.
Afterblow
The compulsive need to review the contents of one’s handkerchief following a good nose-blow.
Spillisecond
The fraction of a second in which one may recover a toppled beverage before any liquid spills out.
Algebrassierism
The compulsion to spend time in math class spelling “BOOBIES” on an upside-down calculator.
Doglet
Any breed of dog so small it can be terrorized by the average-sized house cat.
Squee-Squee
The curved line on a windshield caused by a little nick in an old wiper blade.