- Blamestorming
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
- Ego Surfing
Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one’s own name.
- Swiped Out
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. (And it only happens when you only have $.23 cents in your wallet)
- GOOD Job
A “Get-Out-Of-Debt” job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
- Tourists
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. “We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.”
- Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence.
- SnailMail
“REAL” mail that the post office actually sends PS. In the US, Personal snail mail has dropped 10% last because of email.
- Starter
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce. Marriage with no kids, no property and no regrets.
- SITCOMs
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
- Mouse Potato
The online, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato. ARE YOU ONE?
- Anonymiss
The act of forgetting someone’s name immediately upon being introduced.
- Crough
To cough during a play or concert, causing other people around you to cough.
- Jennamnesia
To be so drunk as to forget you’re the President’s daughter.
- Bobbityboo
Mental distress in males inspired by thoughts of surgically-removed penises.
- Spaffle
Completely cooked waffle iron runoff.
- Smealth
The ability to secretly leave behind body odor in an elevator to be blamed on the next person who enters.
- Algoria
Finding one’s Day Planner suddenly very, very, open.
- Massturbation
Group phone sex.
- Dopplersation
A discussion held by two people who are continuing to move away from each other.
- Afterblow
The compulsive need to review the contents of one’s handkerchief following a good nose-blow.
- Spillisecond
The fraction of a second in which one may recover a toppled beverage before any liquid spills out.
- Algebrassierism
The compulsion to spend time in math class spelling “BOOBIES” on an upside-down calculator.
- Doglet
Any breed of dog so small it can be terrorized by the average-sized house cat.
- Squee-Squee
The curved line on a windshield caused by a little nick in an old wiper blade.
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