Feel like I’ve… (Deja…)

  • …admired this scenery before: deja ooo
  • …been in this courtroom before: deja sue
  • …been in this revolution before: de coup
  • …been on this airplane before: deja flew
  • …came up with this innovation before: deja new
  • …courted her before: deja wue
  • …done this person before: deja do
  • …eaten this dinner before: deja stew
  • …ended this relationship before: deja through
  • …expanded this way before: deja grew
  • …exposed the real facts before: deja true
  • …fed these pigeons before: deja coo
  • …felt this bad before: deja rue
  • …felt this ill before: deja flu
  • …felt this sad before: deja blue
  • …forgotten this your name before: deja who
  • …had this feeling of deja vu before: deja too
  • …learned this stuff before: deja knew
  • …lost it under the bed before: deja shoo
  • …milked this cow before: deja moo
  • …munched on this gum ball before: deja chew
  • …played in this wet grass before: deja dew
  • …prepared this before: deja glue
  • …pursued this person before: deja woo
  • …read this mystery book before: deja clue
  • …sat through this sermon before: deja pew
  • …scared this person away before: deja boo
  • …seen these animals before: deja zoo
  • …seen these twins before: deja two
  • …seen this slime before: deja goo
  • …seen this strange animal before: deja gnu
  • …sheared this sheep before: deja ewe
  • …sketched this portrait before: deja drew
  • …smelled this bad odor before: deja phew
  • …smelt this before: deja poo
  • …taken him to court before: deja sue
  • …used this beer recipe before: deja brew
  • …visited this menagerie before: deja zoo
  • …waited in line before: deja queue

How do you…

  • How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on it.
  • How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    Tame way, unique up on it.
  • How do crazy people go through the forest?
    They take the psycho path.
  • How do you get holy water?
    you boil the hell out of it.
  • What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
    Dam!
  • What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
    Polaroids.
  • What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
    A stick.
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese.
  • What do you call Santa’s helpers?
    Subordinate clauses.
  • What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
    Quattro sinko.
  • What do you get from a pampered cow?
    Spoiled milk.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite.
  • What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
    A nervous wreck.
  • What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
    Anyone can roast beef.
  • Where do you find a dog with no legs?
    Right where you left him.
  • Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
    Because they have big fingers.
  • Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
    Because it scares the dog.
  • What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
    Sanka.
  • What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The location of the dirt bag.
  • Why did Pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
    Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
  • What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
    A bad golfer goes Whack, Dang!
    A bad skydiver goes Dang! Whack.
  • How is a Texas tornado and an Alabama divorce the same?
    Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer!

A Paronomastic’s Dictionary

  • Allege
    A high rock shelf
  • Arson
    Our daughter’s brother
  • Author
    A person who is usually write
  • Autobiography
    A history of cars
  • Avowal
    a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y
  • Backward
    Patient rooms at the rear of a hospital
  • Bassinet
    What every fisherman wants
  • Belong
    To take your time
  • Carpet
    A dog who enjoys riding in a automobile
  • Coffee
    Break Fluid
  • Comma
    What a medium falls into
  • Complaint
    A grief resume
  • Condescend
    A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope
  • Deduce
    De lowest card in de deck
  • Denounce
    Words that name things, not de verbs, de adjectives, etc.
  • Document
    Repeating what your doctor told you in your own words
  • Dogma
    A mother dog
  • Eclipse
    What a gardener does to your hedge
  • Earthquake
    A topographical error
  • Falsehood
    Someone who pretends to be a gangster
  • Feast
    An eat wave
  • Flattery
    Phony express
  • Fission
    What Huck Finn did when he played hookey
  • Gentle
    Reproductive organ
    Non-Jewish
  • Geometry
    What the acorn said when it grew up
  • Grateful
    What it takes to build a good fire
  • Handicap
    A ready-to-use hat
  • Hanging
    A suspended sentence
  • Hari-Kari
    Transporting a wig
  • Hunger
    What the posse did to the lady rustler
  • Hypochondriac
    A guy who won’t let well enough alone
  • Hypothesis
    What a boy says to his father on the telephone
  • Indecision
    Under the whether
  • Intense
    Where campers sleep
  • Ketchup
    What the runners behind in a race want to do
  • Kinship
    Your brother’s boat
  • Laundress
    A gown worn while sitting on the grass
  • Legend
    The edge of a cliff
  • Midget
    Center engine of a three-engine fast plane
  • Minimum
    A very small mother
  • Nitrate
    Cheapest price for calling long distance
  • Observatory
    What Washington asked his spies to do
  • Pandemonium
    A housing development for pandas
  • Paradise
    Ivory cubes used in craps and backgammon
  • Paradox
    Two physicians
  • Paraffins
    Found on the sides of fish
  • Paralyze
    Two untruths
  • Praise
    Letting off esteem
  • Protein
    An advocate of teen-agers rights
    Lady of the street too young to vote
  • Rampage
    Section of a book about male sheep
  • Sarcasm
    Quip lash
  • Sherbet
    A tip on a horse race or sporting event
  • Skier
    A person who jumps to contusions
  • Sleet
    A slipcover
  • Stirrup
    What you do with cake batter
  • Subsidy
    A town underneath another town
  • Tenure
    A year after nineure
  • Thursday
    How you feel crossing the desert on a hot day
  • Unabated
    A fishhook without a worm
  • Valorous
    A big animal vit tusks vot lives in vater
  • Vanguard
    A person who protects trucks
  • Violinist
    A high-strung musician
  • Warehouse
    What you ask when you’re lost
  • Washable
    What a cowboy does very carefully
  • Wholesale
    Where a gopher goes to buy a home