How do you…

  • How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on it.
  • How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    Tame way, unique up on it.
  • How do crazy people go through the forest?
    They take the psycho path.
  • How do you get holy water?
    you boil the hell out of it.
  • What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
    Dam!
  • What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
    Polaroids.
  • What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
    A stick.
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese.
  • What do you call Santa’s helpers?
    Subordinate clauses.
  • What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
    Quattro sinko.
  • What do you get from a pampered cow?
    Spoiled milk.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite.
  • What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
    A nervous wreck.
  • What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
    Anyone can roast beef.
  • Where do you find a dog with no legs?
    Right where you left him.
  • Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
    Because they have big fingers.
  • Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
    Because it scares the dog.
  • What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
    Sanka.
  • What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The location of the dirt bag.
  • Why did Pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
    Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
  • What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
    A bad golfer goes Whack, Dang!
    A bad skydiver goes Dang! Whack.
  • How is a Texas tornado and an Alabama divorce the same?
    Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer!