A Paronomastic’s Dictionary

  • Allege
    A high rock shelf
  • Arson
    Our daughter’s brother
  • Author
    A person who is usually write
  • Autobiography
    A history of cars
  • Avowal
    a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y
  • Backward
    Patient rooms at the rear of a hospital
  • Bassinet
    What every fisherman wants
  • Belong
    To take your time
  • Carpet
    A dog who enjoys riding in a automobile
  • Coffee
    Break Fluid
  • Comma
    What a medium falls into
  • Complaint
    A grief resume
  • Condescend
    A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope
  • Deduce
    De lowest card in de deck
  • Denounce
    Words that name things, not de verbs, de adjectives, etc.
  • Document
    Repeating what your doctor told you in your own words
  • Dogma
    A mother dog
  • Eclipse
    What a gardener does to your hedge
  • Earthquake
    A topographical error
  • Falsehood
    Someone who pretends to be a gangster
  • Feast
    An eat wave
  • Flattery
    Phony express
  • Fission
    What Huck Finn did when he played hookey
  • Gentle
    Reproductive organ
  • Geometry
    What the acorn said when it grew up
  • Grateful
    What it takes to build a good fire
  • Handicap
    A ready-to-use hat
  • Hanging
    A suspended sentence
  • Hari-Kari
    Transporting a wig
  • Hunger
    What the posse did to the lady rustler
  • Hypochondriac
    A guy who won’t let well enough alone
  • Hypothesis
    What a boy says to his father on the telephone
  • Indecision
    Under the whether
  • Intense
    Where campers sleep
  • Ketchup
    What the runners behind in a race want to do
  • Kinship
    Your brother’s boat
  • Laundress
    A gown worn while sitting on the grass
  • Legend
    The edge of a cliff
  • Midget
    Center engine of a three-engine fast plane
  • Minimum
    A very small mother
  • Nitrate
    Cheapest price for calling long distance
  • Observatory
    What Washington asked his spies to do
  • Pandemonium
    A housing development for pandas
  • Paradise
    Ivory cubes used in craps and backgammon
  • Paradox
    Two physicians
  • Paraffins
    Found on the sides of fish
  • Paralyze
    Two untruths
  • Praise
    Letting off esteem
  • Protein
    An advocate of teen-agers rights
    Lady of the street too young to vote
  • Rampage
    Section of a book about male sheep
  • Sarcasm
    Quip lash
  • Sherbet
    A tip on a horse race or sporting event
  • Skier
    A person who jumps to contusions
  • Sleet
    A slipcover
  • Stirrup
    What you do with cake batter
  • Subsidy
    A town underneath another town
  • Tenure
    A year after nineure
  • Thursday
    How you feel crossing the desert on a hot day
  • Unabated
    A fishhook without a worm
  • Valorous
    A big animal vit tusks vot lives in vater
  • Vanguard
    A person who protects trucks
  • Violinist
    A high-strung musician
  • Warehouse
    What you ask when you’re lost
  • Washable
    What a cowboy does very carefully
  • Wholesale
    Where a gopher goes to buy a home