Domestic guru:
Once a corporate giant,
Now Stewart Little.
Yoda said it best:
“Begun, the ImClone wars have.”
Bantha food are you!
Did Martha just goof?
Or could she possibly be
Rotten to decor?
You brighten the lives
Of so many people. Try
Your huge dyke cellmate.
New lines for this fall?
Attention, K-Mart shoppers:
Orange ensembles!
You have brought much joy.
Now you will bring so many
Cigarette cartons.
It’s gauche, perhaps, but
Handy for prison showers.
Bring soap-on-a-rope.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.
Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds — I celebrate
By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paper boy — come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man — come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
How do I love thee?
The ways are as numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
I Hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot — no greater bliss — well,
Maybe catching rats
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.
The cat is not all
Bad –she fills the litter box
With tootsie rolls.
Dig under the fence–why?
Because it is there. Because it’s
There. Because it’s there.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
In Japan, Sony Vaio machines have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.