Back in the 1800s, when Canada’s founding fathers gathered to discuss and plan independence from England, the issue of what to call this new country naturally came up.

One of the founding fathers really liked what the neighbors to the south did and pitched the idea. “USA is simple. It’s catchy. It works. How about if we put the letters of the alphabet in a hockey helmet, pull out three, and that’s our name. What do you think, eh?”

Everyone liked the idea and approved. So the 26 letters of the alphabet went into a helmet, and one of the founding fathers picked the three letters. He read them off as he picked them.

“C, eh……N, eh…….D, eh”

• You stand in “line-ups” at the movie, not lines.
• You’re not offended by the term “Homo Milk”
• You understand the phrase, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine”.
• You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
• You drink pop, not soda.
• You know what it means to be on pogey.
• You know that a mickey and a 2-4 means “Party at the camp, eh!!”
• You don’t hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.
• You can drink legally while still a teen.
• You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices.
• You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
• You don’t know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it’s just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars.
• When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
• You’re not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don’t want to know if he has!
• You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
• Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
• You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
• You sit on a couch not a chesterfield – that is some small town in Quebec!
• You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
• You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
• You know that Thrills are something to chew and “taste like soap”.
• You know that Mounties “don’t always look like that”.
• You read rather than scanned this list.

• Can bask in a sense of national security without having to worry about such messy details as providing for your own defense.
• Can mispronounce the “ou” sound and get away with it.
• Have wonderful (free) medical care at your disposal, just a short drive to the hospital (or right at home, if you’re not in a hurry).
• Can misspell “color” (and “humor”) and get away with it.
• Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some.
• Almost as much confusion about official language as the Americans.
• REAL unspoiled wilderness (without restrooms & vending machines).
• Spontaneous arrogance.
• Maggie Trudeau, eh?