- Drink molasses till you heave.
- Attend a Wet Bonnet contest.
- Tear a page out of the room directory and totally trash it.
- Throw a “Keg of Buttermilk” party.
- Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really hot Clydesdale.
- Get a tattoo that says: “Born to Raise Barns.”
- Dare to wear a see-through smock to bed.
- Sleep in until 6:00am.
- Cop a glance, behind a checkout counter, of the front cover of a Playboy Magazine.
- Churn butter naked.
- Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am.
- In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
- Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss” makeup.
- When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou suck!”
- His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.”
- Defiantly says, “If I had a radio, I’d listen to rap.”
- You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.
- Uses slang expression: “Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain’t listening.”
- Was recently pulled over for “driving under the influence of cottage cheese.”
- He’s wearing his big black hat backwards
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