What Your Computer is Trying to Tell You

  • It says: “Press Any Key”
    It means: “Press any key you like but I’m not moving.”
  • It says: “Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E”
    It means: “… where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it’s a hardware problem.”
  • It says: “Installing program to C:….”
    It means: “… And I’ll also be writing a few files into c:windows and c:windowssystem where you’ll NEVER find them.”
  • It says: “Please insert disk 11”
    It means: “Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks.”
  • It says: “Not enough memory”
    It means: “I don’t CARE if you’ve got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K.”
  • It says: “Cannot read from drive D:….”
    It means: “… However, if you put the CD in right side up…”
  • It says: “Please Wait….”
    It means: “… Indefinitely.”
  • It says: “Directory does not exist….”
    It means: “…. any more. Whoops.”
  • It says: “The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close.”
    It means: “….Makes no difference to me, you’re still not getting your work back.”