From J Bologna
- Your human walks into the kitchen. Does this mean?
- It’s hungry.
- It’s lost.
- You’re hungry.
- Let the begging begin.
- It’s hungry.
- Your human puts down a bowl of food for you. Is this?
- Supper.
- Something s/he obviously wouldn’t eat.
- Something to keep you going till supper’s ready.
- Inedible junk to be scorned in favor of what the humans eat.
- Supper.
- Your human removes you from the top of the television. Does this mean?
- You’re in trouble – better not do it again.
- Nothing – humans do this from time to time.
- The human wants to play, so climb up again to amuse it.
- It is time to chew on the cable wire again.
- You’re in trouble – better not do it again.
- Staircases are for:
- Getting up to the human’s bed at 4am.
- Lying in wait in the dark at the top of.
- Walking down just slower than the human in front of it.
- All of the above.
- Getting up to the human’s bed at 4am.
- Your human talks/yells at you. You should:
- Listen intently, even if you don’t understand.
- Meow in acknowledgment and continue what you were doing.
- Ignore him/her completely; you’re a cat, they mean nothing.
- Move on to the next annoying activity to encourage their talking behavior.
- Listen intently, even if you don’t understand.
- Phone and electrical cords and strings from fabrics are:
- Important to humans and should be left alone.
- Playthings and deserve your total attention; no matter what damage may result.
- Annoying and should be removed immediately.
- Important to humans and should be left alone.
- Birds, small rodents and large bugs should be:
- Ignored (especially if your human wants them removed).
- Played with until they stop playing.
- Presented to your human as a proud trophy.
- Hidden under your human’s pillow for safe keeping.
- Consumed for their nutritional value.
- Ignored (especially if your human wants them removed).
- A human giving you a bath should be considered:
- Under no circumstances.
- Under no circumstances.
- Under no circumstances.
- An act of war.
- All of the above.
- Under no circumstances.
- Your human’s value is limited to:
- Providing food.
- Providing water.
- Letting you out.
- Providing opposite-gender feline companionship.
- Leaving you alone.
- All of the above; if properly trained.
- Providing food.