Reasons to Own a Cat Over a Dog

  • Cats rule. Dogs drool.
  • Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they’re horny.
  • Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.
  • In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner’s choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks.
  • Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won’t even let you throw them.
  • Cats let you kick them when you’re stressed out.
  • Cats will wait until you’ve read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.
  • Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.
  • No one has ever had to “Beware of the Cat.”
  • Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others’.
  • Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.
  • Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.
  • Why do you think they call it “Dog Breath?”
  • Garfield. Odie.
  • Enough said.