Tag Archives: cats vs dogs

About Cats and Dogs

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What is a Cat?

  • Cats do what they want.
  • They rarely listen to you.
  • They’re totally unpredictable.
  • They whine when they are not happy.
  • When you want to play, they want to be alone.
  • When you want to be alone, they want to play.
  • They expect you to cater to their every whim.
  • They’re moody.
  • They leave hair everywhere.
  • They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

  • Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
  • They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
  • They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
  • They growl when they are not happy.
  • When you want to play, they want to play.
  • When you want to be alone, they want to play.
  • They are great at begging.
  • They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
  • They leave their toys everywhere.
  • They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They’re tiny men in little fur coats.

A Cat’s Apology

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Dear Dog,

I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which you did not break; the fish you did not spill; and the carpet that you did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with red paint…

Things here at the house are calmer now, and just to show you that I have no hard feelings towards you, I am sending you a picture, so you will always remember me.

LOL

Best regards,

The Cat

All About Cats and Dogs

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What is a Cat?
  • Cats do what they want.
  • They rarely listen to you.
  • They’re totally unpredictable.
  • They whine when they are not happy.
  • When you want to play, they want to be alone.
  • When you want to be alone, they want to play.
  • They expect you to cater to their every whim.
  • They’re moody.
  • They leave hair everywhere.
  • They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

  • Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
  • They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
  • They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
  • They growl when they are not happy.
  • When you want to play, they want to play.
  • When you want to be alone, they want to play.
  • They are great at begging.
  • They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
  • They leave their toys everywhere.
  • They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They’re tiny men in little fur coats.

Reasons to Own a Cat Over a Dog

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  • Cats rule. Dogs drool.
  • Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they’re horny.
  • Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.
  • In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner’s choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks.
  • Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won’t even let you throw them.
  • Cats let you kick them when you’re stressed out.
  • Cats will wait until you’ve read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.
  • Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.
  • No one has ever had to “Beware of the Cat.”
  • Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others’.
  • Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.
  • Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.
  • Why do you think they call it “Dog Breath?”
  • Garfield. Odie.
  • Enough said.