Driving School: Real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school:

• Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
  A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.
• Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
  A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
• Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
  A: Your car.
• Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
  A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
• Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
  A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
• Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
  A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if s/he is cute.
• Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
  A: The color.
• Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
  A: Heavy psychedelics.
• Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
  A: Carry loaded weapons.