- You had a polka band instead of a string quartet at your wedding reception.
- You own a cheese-head or necktie. And have worn it in public. At Lambeau Field or Milwaukee County Stadium.
- You say “Ja hey dere once, eh?” more than once a day.
- You get offended by “Sven and Olie” jokes.
- You could polka before you could walk.
- You went to Sheboygan for your honeymoon.
- You have flipped off a F.I.B. more than twice in the last week.
- Your favorite food is hotdish.
- You flew your flag at half mast for a week after the great Oscar Meyer fire of ’91.
- “Second Week in Deer Camp” brings a tear to your eye.
- You do it doggie-style in winter so you and your partner can both keep watching the hockey game.
- You know more than 17 different ways to cook brats.
- Your mother gave you Leinie’s rather than milk in your baby bottle.
- You have a gnome or a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
- You get withdrawal symptoms after three days without green jello.
- You have ever tipped a cow. When sober.
- You have ever eaten an entire Hillshire Farms Christmas gift pack in one sitting.
- You drink from a bubbler.
- You have ever bowled more than 10 consecutive games.
- You have memorized every line from “Strange Brew.”
- You appeared at Lambeau field wearing only a g-string and green paint.
- You are related to the National Sheepshead Champion.
- Your family pet is named “Bossie”.
- You have ever had a date with Ms. Dairyland 20xx.
- You had your wedding reception at a bowling alley.
- You own the CD of “25 Great Accordian Hits”. And can play along with it.
- Laverne and Shirley are your all-time heros.
- You have ever been mistaken for a Yooper.
- You seldom can remember the week after Oktoberfest.
- You considered suicide after Paul Molitor got traded.
- You have ever worn a bowling shirt with your name embroidered on it to church.
- You have ever spent more than 72 consecutive hours in an ice-fishing hut.
- You have ordered pizza with sauerkraut on it (more than once.)
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