Doctor Doctor

  • Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m a dog.
    Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
    But I’m not allowed up on the couch!
  • Doctor, Doctor You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!
    Doctor: Do you drink a lot?
    Not really – I spill most of it!
  • Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
    Doctor: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head. Then you’ll have a bad headache.
  • Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m God!
    Doctor: When did this start?
    Well first I created the sun, then the earth, then the…
  • Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee!
    Doctor: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST?
  • Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
    Doc: I never make rash promises!
  • Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m a frog!
    Doctor: So what’s wrong with that?
    I think I’m going to croak!
  • Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bridge!
    Doctor: What’s come over you?
    2 buses, 3 motorbikes and a train.
  • Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards!
    Doctor: I’ll deal with you later.
  • Doctor, Doctor I feel like a needle!
    Doctor: I see your point.
  • Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!
    Doctor: Pull yourself together man!
  • Doctor, Doctor I have 59 seconds to live!
    Doctor: Wait a minute will ya!