…..and what they’re really thinking

• “This should be taken care of right away.”
  I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
• “Welllllll, what have we here…?”
  He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.
• “Let me check your medical history.”
  I want to see if you paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.
• “Why don’t we make another appointment later in the week.”
  I’m playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time..or..I need the bucks, so I’m charging you for another office visit.
• “I have some good news and some bad news.”
  The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.
• “Let’s see how it develops.”
  Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.
• “Let me schedule you for some tests.”
  I have 40% interest in the lab.
• “I’d like to have my associate look at you.”
  He’s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.
• “I’d like to prescribe a new drug.”
  I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.
• “If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call.”
  I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.
• “That’s quite a nasty looking wound.”
  I think I’m going to throw up.
• “This may smart a little.”
  Last week two patients bit off their tongues.
• “Well, we’re not feeling so well today, are we…?”
  I’m stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?
• “This should fix you up.”
  The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.
• “Everything seems to be normal.”
  Rats! I guess I can’t buy that new beach condo after all.
• “I’d like to run some more tests.”
  I can’t figure out what’s wrong maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.
• “Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?”
  You’re crazier’n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who’ll split fees with me…”
• “There is a lot of that going around.”
  My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this.
• “If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment.”
  I’ve never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I’m off next week!