Other Marthas Who Have Been In Trouble

  • Martha De Sade:
    Jailed and later demonized in an insane asylum for knitting pornographic doilies as well as for torturing her sex partners with hot lemon-scented summer-candle wax.
  • Martha S. Thompson:
    Shunned by the white man’s culture after gaining notoriety for her high octane, uncontrolled works of drug induced literature such as “Fear and Loathing in Martha’s Vineyard” and “The White Zinfandel Diary.”
  • Martha of Arc:
    Accused of being a witch in Omaha in 1951, she was burned at a steakhouse.
  • Martha Raye:
    Was falsely accused of embellishing the results of her endorsed denture cleanser by soaking her teeth regularly in correction fluid.
  • Martha Reeves:
    Was inaccurately denounced by devout churchgoers who believed the “Vandellas” were a modern, paganist cult who liked nothing more than cavorting and gyrating in stimulating ways in neighborhood roads and boulevards.
  • Martha Washington:
    Was once publicly slandered, accused of trying to coerce her husband to move the U.S. capital from Philadelphia to Martha’s Vineyard.
  • Martha Plimpton:
    While filming the movie Parenthood, was unjustifiably rumored to have said that co-star Keanu Reeves’ “kissing is worse than his kung fu.”
  • Martha Osbourne:
    Died of an overdose at age 4 after getting into the glove box in her father’s car.
  • Martha Mandela:
    This Belgian tourist was wrongly jailed in South Africa for 2 weeks in 1983 based solely on her family name.
  • Martha Arnold:
    Although she turned in her brother Benedict, she was later exiled from America’s new elite class when President Washington’s wife proclaimed, “This country is only big enough for one Martha!”
  • Martha Jackson:
    Being tone-deaf in a family of musicians was her only sin, but she was abandoned at an orphanage at age 3.
  • Martha Simpson:
    The mother of OJ, she was there the night of Nicole’s “accident”. Only Martha knows how the gloves got there, and she’s not telling!