Ways Life Would Change If Men Got Pregnant

  • Maternity leave would last two years…with full pay!
  • There’d be a cure for stretch marks.
  • Natural childbirth would become obsolete. {Eg: You want me to push this through WHAT?!!}
  • Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s No. 1 health problem.
  • All methods of birth control would be improved to 100% effectiveness.
  • Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet-trained and over the “Terrible Twos.”
  • Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
  • They wouldn’t think twins were quite so cute.
  • Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10 p.m.
  • Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.
  • They’d stay in bed for the entire nine months.
  • Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.
  • Women would rule the world.