Great Truths from Small Children

  • When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
  • If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
  • Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  • You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
  • Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
  • Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
  • Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
  • Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
  • Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
  • A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.
  • Don’t say that the “Last One is a Rotten Egg” unless you’re absolutely sure there’s a slow kid behind you.
  • You can’t start over just because you’re losing the game.
  • All libraries smell the same.
  • If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.