Surprizes on the Bob Dylan/Paul Simon Summer Tour

  • Brisk ticket sales as fans realize they no longer need baby-sitters for their 40 year old children.
  • Harmonica solo on “Bridge Over Troubled Water” seems to be in the wrong key.
  • Audience shouts for “Sounds of Silence” every time Dylan sings.
  • Applause causes Clapper-controlled light show to freak out.
  • “Hey! Don’t Bogart that Viagra, dude!!”
  • Updated lyrics: “EVERYbody must get stoned… besides, it helps my glaucoma!”
  • Microsoft provides cutting-edge software used to translate Dylan’s vocals in real-time.
  • Paul’s the neat freak prude, Bob’s the beer-guzzling slob.
  • “Hyears to yeeewwww, Meeeeesuuus Rhhhobinson. Jesus luvs yeeeewwww mooorrrrrre than yeeeeewwwwww will knooooooow. O…O…O.”
  • “Now raise your cell phones way up in the air, and press star 99 like you just don’t care!”
  • Art Garfunkel gets chief roadie job because he’s the only one who can understand Dylan’s Chinese take-out order.
  • PA announcer introduces them as Mumbly Spice and Shorty Spice.
  • Simon’s emotional ballad for Bob: “Fifty Ways to Kill Your Liver”