Bobby Knight has a long history of violent outbursts, including many highly-publicized run-ins with players and referees during his years as a college basketball coach. Here’s a copy of his to-do list, taken from his cluttered desk before his retirement.

• Finish motivational tape called “Pull Your Head Out Of Your Butt And Get Your Sh*t Together You Worthless Sack Of Puke.”
• Ridicule those WWF weenies for sloppy chair-throwing technique.
• Watch “Patton” again.
• Apologize to Father Nesbitt for hurling pew cushions into the aisle during an unconvincing portion of last Sunday’s sermon.
• Call Ditka regarding the 2-for-1 Prozac deal over at Drug Emporium.
• Begin writing “Chicken Soup For The Ill-tempered, Foul-mouthed, Blowhard’s Soul.”
• Beat the living tar out of Dan Burton for making people from Indiana look crazy.
• Tend to bed of pansies on kitchen window sill.
• Head down to the nursing home and slap Mom around as late Mother’s Day gift.
• Check Monster.com for any jobs listed as “Violent Nutcase College Basketball Coaches.”
• Submit fecal artwork to Brooklyn Museum of Art.
• Develop new TV show — “Two Guys, a Girl and a Chair-throwin’, Woman-bashin’ Player-stranglin’ Coach.”
• Have floral arrangement delivered to side of secretary’s head.
• Haul the ol’ Louisville Slugger down to Chuckie Cheese for a few hours of Whack-a-Mole.