Computer Technical Terms

  • State-of-the-Art
    Any computer you can’t afford.

  • Obsolete
    Any computer you own.
  • Microsecond
    The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
  • Syntax Error
    Walking into a computer store and saying… ‘Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.’
  • Hard Drive
    The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.
  • GUI
    What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced ‘gooey’)
  • Keyboard
    The standard way to generate computer errors.
  • Mouse
    An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
  • Floppy
    The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
  • Portable Computer
    A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
  • Disk Crash
    A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
  • Power User
    Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
  • System Update
    A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.
  • 486
    The average IQ needed to understand a PC.