Reasons Why Women are Better than Guitars

  • Women are more fun when the power goes out
  • You can’t get your guitar wet
  • Ever try to screw a guitar?
  • The input to a guitar is only 1/4″ (ouch!)
  • A guitar won’t beg to be played
  • It’s no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
  • When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
  • Guitars aren’t very aggressive
  • A guitar won’t play you back
  • You need two hands to make a guitar scream
  • A guitar won’t scratch *your* back
  • A guitar won’t drive you home if you’re too drunk
  • A guitar doesn’t care who plays it
  • You can’t play two guitars at once
  • You can’t fall in love with a guitar
  • It’s a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
  • Guitar lessons aren’t free and aren’t as much fun.
  • If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
  • You can’t marry a rich guitar.
  • Even a good guitar won’t usually last a whole lifetime.
  • Guitars don’t taste very good.
  • A guitar won’t give you head.