What Men Are Like

  • Men are like…..Coffee.
    The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.
  • Men are like…..Chocolate Bars.
    Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
  • Men are like…..Blenders.
    You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
  • Men are like…..Coolers.
    Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
  • Men are like…..Copiers.
    You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
  • Men are like…..Curling irons.
    They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.
  • Men are like…..Government bonds.
    They take so long to mature.
  • Men are like…..High heels.
    They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
  • Men are like…..Horoscopes.
    They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
  • Men are like…..Lava lamps.
    Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
  • Men are like…..Laxatives.
    They irritate the shit out of you.
  • Men are like…..Mascara.
    They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
  • Men are like…..Mini skirts.
    If you’re not careful, they’ll creep up on your butt.
  • Men are like…..Noodles.
    They’re always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
  • Men are like…..Parking spots.
    The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped or extremely small.
  • Men are like…..Plungers.
    They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
  • Men are like…..Popcorn.
    They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
  • Men are like…..Placemats.
    They only show up when there’s food on the table.
  • Men are like…..Snowstorms.
    You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long he will last.
  • Men are like…..Used Cars.
    Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.
  • Men are like…..Vacations.
    They never seem to be long enough.
  • Men are like…..Weather
    Nothing can be done to change either one of them.