- Women are more fun when the power goes out
- You can’t get your guitar wet
- Ever try to screw a guitar?
- The input to a guitar is only 1/4″ (ouch!)
- A guitar won’t beg to be played
- It’s no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
- When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
- Guitars aren’t very aggressive
- A guitar won’t play you back
- You need two hands to make a guitar scream
- A guitar won’t scratch *your* back
- A guitar won’t drive you home if you’re too drunk
- A guitar doesn’t care who plays it
- You can’t play two guitars at once
- You can’t fall in love with a guitar
- It’s a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
- Guitar lessons aren’t free and aren’t as much fun.
- If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
- You can’t marry a rich guitar.
- Even a good guitar won’t usually last a whole lifetime.
- Guitars don’t taste very good.
- A guitar won’t give you head.
- A guitar has a volume knob
- If you break a guitar’s G-string, it only costs $. 79 for a new one
- You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
- You can unplug a guitar
- You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
- Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
- You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
- You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
- You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
- If your guitar doesn’t make sounds you like, you can retune it
- You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
- If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
- You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
- If you scratch a guitar’s back, it’s unintentional, not required
- You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
- It’s good to have a guitar that’s stretched out.
- You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed
- You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
- You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
- You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
- A guitar doesn’t take half of everything you own when you sell it.
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