Why A Man Can’t Win

  • If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a male chauvinist.
  • If you stay home and do the housework, you are a pansy.
  • If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
  • If you don’t work enough, you are a good for nothing bum.
  • If she has a boring repetitive job woith low pay, this is exploitation.
  • If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your rear and find something better.
  • If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
  • If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.
  • If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
  • If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.
  • If you cry, you are a wimp.
  • If you don’t, you are an insensitive bastard.
  • If you make a decision without consulting her, you are a chauvinist.
  • If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.
  • If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
  • If she asks you, it’s a favor.
  • If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you are a pervert.
  • If you don’t, you are a fag.
  • If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you are a sexist.
  • If you don’t, you are unromantic.
  • If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain.
  • If you don’t, you are a slob.
  • If you are proud of your achievements, you are full of yourself.
  • If you don’t you are not ambitious.
  • If she has a headache, she is tired.
  • If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.
  • If you want it too often, you are oversexed.
  • If you don’t, there must be someone else.