- If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a male chauvinist.
- If you stay home and do the housework, you are a pansy.
- If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
- If you don’t work enough, you are a good for nothing bum.
- If she has a boring repetitive job woith low pay, this is exploitation.
- If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your rear and find something better.
- If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
- If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.
- If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
- If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.
- If you cry, you are a wimp.
- If you don’t, you are an insensitive bastard.
- If you make a decision without consulting her, you are a chauvinist.
- If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.
- If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
- If she asks you, it’s a favor.
- If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you are a pervert.
- If you don’t, you are a fag.
- If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you are a sexist.
- If you don’t, you are unromantic.
- If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain.
- If you don’t, you are a slob.
- If you are proud of your achievements, you are full of yourself.
- If you don’t you are not ambitious.
- If she has a headache, she is tired.
- If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.
- If you want it too often, you are oversexed.
- If you don’t, there must be someone else.
- Call her the next day.
- Always laugh at her jokes.
- Tell her (truthfully!) that you can’t wait to see her again.
- Offer her a back rub, without asking for one in return.
- Call her just to say you were thinking about her.
- Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when she’s sick.
- Write her a poem, even if it’s not very good.
- Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).
- Bring her flowers for no reason.
- Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say hello.
- Always remember your anniversaries and bring her something sweet, preferably chocolate.
- Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.
- Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to look up at the stars.
- Tell her something about you that no one else knows.
- Remind her that you think she’s beautiful. Keep saying it. She’ll never get tired of this one!
- Take a bubble bath together.
- Watch a sappy movie with her.
- Surprise her with a candlelight dinner.
- Never stop trying to impress her.
- Tell her you love her.
- Never forget how much she means to you.
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