Signs You are Dating a Consultant

  • Referred to the first month of your relationship as a diagnostic period.
  • Talks to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.
  • Takes a half-day at the office because, Sunday is your day.
  • Congratulates your parents for successful value creation.
  • Tries to call room service from the bedroom.
  • Ends any argument by saying, “Let’s talk about this off-line”.
  • Celebrates anniversary by conducting a performance review.
  • Can’t be trusted with the car – too accustomed to beating up rentals.
  • Valentine’s Day card has bullet points.
  • Refers to lovemaking as a win-win.