Signs You Are On a Bad Date

  • Girls you know you’re on a bad date when:
    • You order a Double Whopper and he says, “Hey, my name ain’t Rockefeller, honey.”
    • You’ve never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.
    • He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.
    • Your dinner reservations are under “Loser, party of 2”
    • He’s especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.
    • He calls to tell you he’ll pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over.
    • He’s been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer, twice.

  • Guys you know you’re on a bad date when:
    • She whispers to the waiter, “Please kill me.”
    • All she talks about is how great it is working for Heidi Fleiss.
    • You catch her giving her phone number to the guy cleaning your windshield.
    • She lunges at you several times with a steak knife.
    • She keeps calling you “Bachelor Number Two”.
    • “Whoa! Is it 8:15 already?”
    • She transitions the conversation by saying “I’ve said enough about me. What do you think about me?”