Tag Archives: worldwide web

Home On The Web

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(to the tune of “Home on the Range”)
Lyrics by Peggy Ben-Fay Hu

Oh give me a site,
Where the links all work right,
One that doesn’t take too long to load.
Where the text can be seen,
On my 13-inch screen,
One that offers a “no-Java” mode.

Home, home on the Web
on my 486 IBM.
Please take pity on me,
I’m still on Netscape 3,
with a 14.4-speed modem!

Though your video files
Give your pages some style
I can’t read them upon my PC;
Massive graphics and sound
Crash my system, I’ve found,
So please put in some “alt” tags for me!

Home, home on the Web
on my 486 IBM.
Please take pity on me,
I’m still on Netscape 3,
with a 14.4-speed modem!

Please don’t ask me to “chat”
With your favorite cat;
I don’t have an IRC code.
And don’t ask me to buy
Games for Win 95.
My PC is way too darn old!

Home, home on the Web
on my 486 IBM.
Please take pity on me,
I’m still on Netscape 3,
with a 14.4-speed modem!

A 12 Step Program of Recovery for Web Addicts

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  1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
  2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
  3. I will get dressed before noon.
  4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
  5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
  6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
  7. I will read a book…if I still remember how.
  8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
  9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
  10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
  11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
  12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime…and the Web will always be there tomorrow!