23rd Psalm for Psychiatrists

The Lord is my external-internal integrative mechanism,
I shall not be deprived of gratification
for my viscerogenic hungers or my need dispositions.
He motivates me to orient myself
toward a non-social object with affective significance.
He positions me in a non-decisional situation.
He maximizes my adjustment.
Although I entertain masochistic and self-destructive id impulses,
I will maintain contact with reality, for my superego is dominant.
His analysis and tranquilizers, they comfort me.
He assists in the resolution of my internal conflicts
despite my Oedipal problem and psychopathic compulsions.
He promotes my group identification.
My personality is totally integrated.
Surely my prestige and status shall be enhanced
as a direct function of time,
And I shall remain sociologically, psychologically and economically secure forever.

Psalm 23 for Programmers

The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash.
He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart,
All of His commands are user friendly,
His directory moves me to the right choices for His name’s sake.

Even though I scroll through the problems of file,
I will fear no bugs, for You are my backup;
Your password protects me;
You prepare a menu before me in the presence of my enemies;
Your help is only a key away.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
And my file will be merged with His and saved forever.