- Remove film from box and load camera.
- Remove film box from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash.
- Remove puppy from trash, brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
- Choose a suitable background for photo.
- Mount camera on tripod and focus.
- Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
- Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
- Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
- Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
- Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
- Put cat outside, put peroxide on the scratch on puppy’s nose.
- Put magazines back on coffee table.
- Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your head.
- Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
- Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, “No, outside! No, outside!”
- Clean up mess.
- Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy “sit” and “stay” soon.
- Put the cat on a pillow.
- Set up your camera.
- Put the cat back on the pillow.
- Get a bowl of food and put it next to the pillow.
- Put the cat back on the pillow.
- Grab the food bowl and follow the cat. As you run, hold the bowl in our cat’s face, tempting her to eat.
- See if the neighbors will come over and pick up the sofa while you snap a picture of the cat underneath.
- Cross the names of your neighbors off the list for your next party.
- Put the cat back on the pillow.
- Place a catnip-stuffed mouse in front of your cat and wait for your cat to go crazy.
- Go back to the pet store and demand a refund.
- Decide on a family portrait with the cat instead.
- To stop the argument over which child gets to pose with the cat, agree to take pictures of each child holding the cat on her lap.
- Tell each child that it doesn’t matter who holds the cat first because you’ll shuffle the pictures after they’re developed and look at them in a different order than the order they were taken.
- Get more cats, one for each child, and go back to step one.
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