Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active

  • Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor.
  • Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.
  • Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of “denture-burn.”
  • Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.
  • Granny found cuffed to her walker.
  • Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.
  • Your “Grandma” is Anna Nicole Smith.
  • You’ve just seen the photos in the “Beaver Hunt” section of Hustler.
  • Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa’s crotch and claps twice.
  • Kraft-matic Adjustable Bed set for “doggy style.”

Fart Football

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven Points.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”

The old man replied, “It’s Fart Football.”

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score…”

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.”

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.” Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.” Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, “What the hell was that?”

The old man says, “Half time, switch sides!”