A Minnesota Guide to Computer Lingo

  • LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter
  • LOG OFF: don’t add no more vood
  • MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove
  • MEGAHERTZ: vhen da big log drops on your barefoot in da morning
  • FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from pilingk too much vood
  • RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork
  • HARD DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter
  • PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season
  • ENTER: come on in
  • WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets below zero
  • SCREEN: vhat you gotta fix on da windows during black fly season
  • CHIP: vhat ya munch during Vikings games
  • MICROCHIP: vhat’s left in da bag vhen da chips are gone
  • MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly
  • DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix’s wife
  • LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit
  • KEYBOARD: vhere ya suppose to hang da keys so da Misses can find em
  • SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?
  • MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard
  • MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna dat holds up da roof
  • PORT: vhere da commercial fishin guys tie up dere boats
  • DOCKING STATION: da same as PORT
  • RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can’t remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da wife asks about it