A New Merger

Well, despite the fact that AOL Time Warner has lost over half of its value and threw out their CEO, Gerald Levin, it hasn’t stopped other companies from talking about doing mega-merger deals.

For instance, did you hear that Yahoo, in a 5-1 stock split, plus some capital from Microsoft, is planning on taking over Disney, Data General, and United Health Care?


The new company will be called:

Hoo-Dis, Hoo-Dat, and Hoo-Cares.


Not that we would ever see these, but it makes you wonder what would happen if the following companies merged…

  • Polygraph Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler
  • 3M and Goodyear
  • John Deere and Abitibi-Price
    Deere Abi
  • Crabtree & Evelyn and Apple Computer
    Crab Apple
  • Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco and Dakota Mining
    Zip Audi Do Da
  • Folger Coffee, Detroit Edison and Rolex
  • Swissair and Cheseborough-Ponds
  • Honeywell, Imasco and Home Oil
    Honey, I’m Home
  • Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining
    Mine, All Mine
  • 3M, JC Penney and Canadian Opera Company
    3 Penney Opera
  • Mattel and Pacific Gold
    Ma & Pa
  • Sears Roebuck and Rogers Cable
    Buck Rogers
  • Cracker Jacks and Maxwell House
  • Luvs Diapers and Hertz Rent-A-Car
    Luv Hertz
  • Knott’s Berry Farm and National Organization of Women
    Knott NOW
  • Federal Express and UPS
    Fed Up.

Bad Merger Ideas

  • Mennen Black & Decker
  • Brother Cannon Sperry Daimler
  • Rubbermaid Snap-On Genuine Parts
  • Olde McDonald’s Hickory Farms
  • Eaton Apple Caterpillar
  • Good ‘n’ Plenty Johnson Wax
  • Motel 6 Hostess
  • Camel Apple
  • Hershey Gateway
  • Microsoft Weinerschnitzel
  • Star-Kist Tuna Aqua Net
  • Blue Cross Dresser Industries
  • Pfizer Wang Boeing
  • Yahoo! Wendy’s Intuit
  • Playboy Staples Busch
  • Zippo Johnson & Johnson Hertz