- 3 Biggest Software Lies
- The program’s fully tested and bugfree.
- We’re working on the documentation.
- Of course we can modify it.
- 3 Biggest Computer Room Lies
- As long as you remember to ‘SAVE’ your input, you’ll never lose any files.
- We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.
- The new machines on order.
- 3 Biggest Large Company Lies
- We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
- People are our greatest resource.
- We say ‘let the marketplace decide’.
- 3 Biggest Small Company Lies
- We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
- The boss is just one of the guys.
- Staying small is a conscious decision.
- 3 Biggest Marketing Lies
- Immediate delivery?…No problem.
- We treat every customer as if they were our most important.
- We’re going out to lunch to talk business.
- 3 Biggest Engineering Professor’s Lies
- Some day this course will come in handy.
- These tests are more trouble for me than they are for you.
- This is the way they do it in industry.
- 3 Biggest Executive Lies
- Money…it’s just a score card.
- If it were up to me, there’d be no assigned parking spaces.
- You have to twist my arm to get me to go on a business trip.
- 3 Biggest undergraduate student starting Physics Lies
- There are plenty of jobs out there for Physics graduates.
- You’ll make lots of money in your proffessional career.
- The general public respect Physicists.
- 3 Biggest student teacher lies
- The school will help and support you all they can.
- This teaching course is interesting and stimulating.
- Kids today are just the same as when you went to school.
- 3 Biggest advertising lies
- This product will taste as good as it looks.
- You really need our product.
- If you use our product you will have sex with the same kinds of people as you see in our ad.
- 3 Biggest mail order lies
- Delivery of your product will occur within 30 days of ordering it.
- If you’re not satisfied with our product we will guarentee a full refund.
- We offer repair of your product free of charge with an accredited repairer in your home State.
- 3 Biggest retail industry lies
- Our staff are courteous and considerate.
- We try to help you with your problem.
- You can exchange or get full refund on an item that you’re not satisfied with.
- 3 Biggest politician lies
- I’ll be factual and to the point.
- I’ll give you a straightforward answer to your question.
- The government doesn’t waste taxpayers money.
- 3 Biggest parent lies
- We’re doing this for your own interest.
- You can have that (do that) later (when you’re older).
- The family can’t afford it now.
- 3 Biggest supermodels lies
- Women normally look like that.
- Women should look like that.
- Fasting and dieting is good for your health.
- 3 Biggest beer ads lies
- Drinking beer is for macho men only.
- You’ll meet good lifelong friends drinking beer in a bar.
- Women think drunken loudmouths are sexy.
- 3 Biggest life lies
- ..and they lived happily ever after.
- Dying is painless.
- Things have gotten so bad that they couldn’t possibly get worse.
- The check is in the mail.
- I’ll respect you in the morning.
- I’m from your government, and I am here to help you.
- It’s only a cold sore.
- You get this one, I’ll pay next time.
- My wife doesn’t understand me.
- Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.
- Of course I love you.
- I am getting a divorce.
- Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
- I never inhaled.
- It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.
- I never watch television except for PBS.
- …but we can still be good friends.
- She means nothing to me.
- Don’t worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on “empty.”
- I gave at the office.
- Don’t worry, he’s never bitten anyone.
- I’ll call you later.
- We’ll release the upgrade by the end of the year.
- Read my lips: no new taxes
- I’ve never done anything like this before
- Now, I’m going to tell you the truth
- It’s supposed to make that noise.
- I *love* your new <hat/haircut/dress/suit…>!
- …then take a left. You can’t miss it.
- Yes, I did.
- Don’t worry, it’s OK — I’m sterile…
- Just take a left after the lights — you can’t miss it.
- I am married, but we’re getting a divorce.
- Just ignore him — he’s never bitten anyone.
- Nothing would please me more.
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